A perfect day. It's interesting. It brings you so much unconditional joy, and it doesn't even work like a distraction, because you're not borrowing happiness.
You're experiencing it.
But the come down is so, so, so much worse than anything imaginable.
It makes you question everything. Manipulates your mind.
"They hated it"
"I didn't actually have fun, it was all fake"
"Everyone hates you"
"You're so boring to hang around"
"You're not fun sober"
Makes you doubt. Doubt the people around you. Maybe they do hate you. Maybe they do.
Makes you want to turn to your distractions.
"Drunk you is so much more fun"
Innocence becomes villanised.
What even is a perfect day, if it is ruined the second you're alone with your thoughts.
Were you ever good or was it all a spectacle.
It all feels fake.
YOU ARE READING
Moments of despair
Short Story- How do you save a person that doesn't want to be saved? - A diary of thoughts that have followed me through my worst mental health days. Not everything can be perfect, and sometimes feelings of "giving up" arise within me.
