Tommyinnits Unbeatable Method Of Avoiding Sudden Death

Sir This Is A McDonald's Drive-Thru

TommyInnit, the best vigilante in the existence of vigilantes, is grounded.

Yeah, soak it up. Laugh.

It's truly upsetting.

He huffs, wiping the back of his hand against his forehead, before returning to wiping down the sink.

It's unfair, really. You run away for a day or two while sick and suddenly you're grounded for two weeks and stuck on bathroom duty.

"This shit is so fucking stupid," He scowls to Clementine who watches him from her position on the bathroom windowsill.

Clementine stares.

"No, I don't fucking deserve this. I did nothing wrong," He justifies.

Clementine does a flip.

"No, no. We don't talk about what happened. Nothing happened. I don't even know what you are talking about, like I honestly have no idea what you are about. I don't even know what heroes are. Who are heroes? That's crazy, never heard of them. Do they even exist? That's crazy. Clementine shut the fuck up," He groans, shuddering as he relives the embarrassment of a lifetime.

Clementine stares.

"Have mercy on your father, you've become so rebellious these days. I bet it's that fucking bottle," He glares, "The second we are ungrounded, I'm getting rid of that shit. Sprite bottle supremacy."

Clementine swims around in a circle.

"I'll drown you," Tommy threatens. Clementine stares. "I will. I'll put you in the toilet. You wanna go down the toilet Clementine? I did a big shit in there like an hour ago. You wanna go down there?"

"Tommy, stop threatening the fish and clean please," Tubbo calls out tiredly as he peeks into the bathroom.

"I am ," Tommy huffs, scrubbing extra hard for no reason. "See? Squeaky fucking clean."

Tubbo raises an eyebrow.

"You know what I don't understand?" Tommy starts, crossing his arms.

Tubbo sighs, "What?"

"Why the fuck is that slenderman living here without doing manual labor? Why isn't he making me breakfast and worshipping the very ground I walk on for letting him into my humble abode? It's disgraceful," He sniffs.

Tubbo stares, disinterested. "I invited Ranboo here actually, and he does make breakfast - just not for you."

Tommy narrows his eyes, "He makes breakfast for you?"

"Yes."

Tommy pauses, eyeing Tubbo in concern. "Does... " He trails off, not sure how to breach the subject. He needs to be compassionate, this is a sensitive topic. Tommy bites his lip in thought.

Tubbo stares at him in question, "What?"

Tommy inhales deeply before sighing, "Tubbo," He says softly, eyes gentle. "I know this is probably difficult for you to answer... but," He pauses again, closing his eyes, "Does he put spaghetti in it?"

Tubbo sighs

"He puts spaghetti in everything."

_____

"Move."

"I've already moved."

"Move more."

"I can't."

"Yes," Tommy scowls, "You can."

Ranboob stares back at him, frowning.

"If I move anymore I'll fall off," The beanstalk complains.