Tommy stares, eyes narrowed.
The child stares back, eyes blank and soulless.
This child is the devil reborn. Tommy is sure of it.
"I don't like 'im," He decides, turning to the 'parents'.
Tubbo raises an eyebrow, unimpressed, "We never asked you to like him, we were just explaining who he is."
Tommy sniffs, "He's a demon child."
"Micheal is not a demon child, he's an angel," Ranboob frowns, holding the toddler in one arm.
" Demon, " Tommy insists. He's right of course. The child stares back at him. The thing hasn't blinked in over twenty minutes. "I can't live in the same area as him," The teenager announces, "He'll kill me in my sleep."
"No he wouldn't," Tubbo frowns, turning to the child. "Isn't that right, Micheal?"
Micheal stares, expression blank.
"...Right, Micheal?" Ranboo prompts.
Micheal stares.
"He probably won't kill you in your sleep," Tubbo amends solemnly.
Oh god. Tommy's going to die.
There's only one solution to this.
______
Tommy huffs, pulling the duffel bag up and over the railings.
" Clementine, please. I know what I'm doing," He scowls as he manhandles the bag.
He sets the bag down on the concrete, unzipping it.
Micheal's head pops out.
"Alright, demon . This is where I leave you, go back to the wilderness, go eat a bear or something. I don't care," Tommy instructs.
Micheal stares up at him, unblinking.
Tommy frowns, " Go. "
Micheal stares.
Tommy's frown deepens. He glances down at Clementine in his hand, "You think we can just leave him here?"
She does a twirl.
Tommy rolls his eyes, "Stop being so morally good, Clementine."
______
"Alright, demon spawn, this is your family," He points to a pack of feral pigs.
He chucks Micheal towards them. "They will take care of you from now on."
Micheal lands in the mud. He's silent as he looks up at the pigs. The pigs stare back at him expectantly.
Micheal stands up and toddles back over to Tommy.
"What?! No!" Tommy screeches.
______
" Clementine, shut up, this is the perfect idea," Tommy huffs as he seals the tape around the box.
He stares at the box in contemplation for a moment before poking two holes into it.
He stands up, box in arms. "Let's do this."
______
"Uh huh, and what exactly is being shipped?"
"Fragile," Tommy replies.
The postman pauses from where he's typing on a monitor to stare at him, "Fragile? What's in it?"
"None of your business, big man. I need this shipped to the other side of the world, thanks."
Tommy dumps the box on the counter.
YOU ARE READING
Tommyinnits Unbeatable Method Of Avoiding Sudden Death
FanfictionBefore we start, the story nor characters belong to me. This was originally written by Enellii on Ao3 if they see this and wants me to take it down I will. Cover art doesn't belong to me either, I got it directly from Google, but will never claim it...
