annaliese's pov
i hadn't been to school since that day. christ i barely touched my phone. every notification it omitted i knew was from either billie or madison. i didn't bother answering them.
instead i laid in my bed in silence, staring at my ceiling. i had nothing to say.
actually, i had plenty of things to say. more than half of them just being repetitive "i'm sorry"'s for what i put them through. they didn't deserve to see that.
the state i was in.
everything in me was telling me i should at least tell them i was alive. sadly. or deteriorating, i suppose, would be more correct.
withering away in my bed.
a body with no soul.
no purpose. no wants. no needs.
i just happened to still exist.
the complexity of the human mind is astonishing. the only thought that occupied my brain was how badly i just wanted to end it. i could finally take the weight off of everyone's shoulders. not only ridding their burdens, but my own.
how complexly beautiful is that.
in the end it was my fault how close billie and i were. despite the promises i made to myself, i let her in. i let her get attached to me. i let her care about me.
it was never her responsibility.
221 words
YOU ARE READING
i'm not broken - billie eilish
Fanfici didn't want her to think i'm just a failed piece of machinery that needs to be fixed, i'm not broken. i was never broken to begin with. but why is it so damn hard to not let her in. ⚘ ❀ ⋆ ⚘ ❀ ⋆ ⚘ ❀ ⋆ ⚘ ❀ ⋆ ⚘ ❀ ⋆ ⚘ ❀ ⋆ ⚘ ❀ ⋆ ⚘ ❀ ⋆ ⚘ ❀ ⋆ everyone...
