i'm not broken - billie eilish

animal

annaliese's pov

"i'm back but i brought you takis i figured you'd want them maybe?" i laughed, throwing the bag at billie and taking another sip of my water before putting the glass down on her bedside table.

"why so quiet bil?" i asked. she was being awfully silent considering what just happened a little bit ago.

"hello? are you okay?" i asked again but this time i got on the bed next to her. i reached my left hand out and touched her face, turning it towards me.

billie's pov

i looked at anna, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "someone called you?" i said turning and grabbing her phone before showing her the contact name.

"who is S with a heart?" i asked raising a brow as i spoke. i didn't know what to think, or how to feel.

"oh bil..." she trailed off before grabbing her phone from me and started typing, texting that person. who is that?

annaliese's pov

"who is that?" she asked me with confusion and hurt in her eyes. i didn't know if i wanted to say anything about it, i don't talk about him. i sighed taking a deep breath.

"it was my brother silas, not anything crazy" i mumbled nervously. i watched billie's eyebrows raise before i put my head down, i felt like i had lied to her.

"oh" she said quietly before pulling her knees up to her chest, clearly not knowing what to say.

"look," i started as i looked up at her "he left a couple years ago, because of my parents. he calls me every now and then to make sure i'm okay" i cracked a half smile while telling the story. i'm trying my best to not freak her out i don't want to be too much.

"i'm sorry anna..." she whispered to me, i struggled to read the expression on her face.

"it's okay really don't worry about it" i smiled

- 4 days later -

annaliese's pov

it had been days since i'd seen billie, or mads. my parents being home again was draining, so i did what i always do and locked myself away.

i sighed as i pet o'malley "you never get tired of me" i smiled as he purred while laying at the foot of my bed. god i don't know what i'd do without this cat- as dumb as that is to say.

before i could have another thought i heard banging on my door, which i assumed to be my father. i groaned while standing up to open it for him. as i reached for the handle he unlocked the door slamming it open which caused it to hit me in the face, hard.

"fuck" i cried out holding my face "what is it?" i asked him still holding my nose which was now bleeding.

"i found bloody bandaids in the trashcan, you seriously thought hiding them like that was enough?" he scoffed as he stormed into my room and threw my stuff around.

i watched o'malley run out of the room, i wish i could do that. "i don't know what you're looking for" i whispered. somehow he heard me and yelled back in response "don't play that shit with me you know what i'm looking for where is it?"

tw self harm

before i knew it tears were rolling down my face as i saw him pull out a box under my bed. "if you don't know what i'm looking for what is this?" he asked dumping the contents onto the floor. i watched silently as the blades fell to the ground, scattered across the floor. there had to be at least 30 of them.

i opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out, before i could talk he yanked me by my wrists and pulled my sleeves up.

"daddy please no" i cried trying to pull my arms away from him, as much as i hated him i didn't want him to see my arms. i didn't want him to see what i did to myself.

"annaliese rose brooks" he yelled before yanking my arms back and looking at them, his face went blank. this was the first time in my life i'd ever seen my father speechless.

"i'm sorry i..." i whispered as he stared down at my arms. i don't know why i was sorry, he treats me like shit, most of this is his fault.

suddenly i looked at him and saw something i never thought i would, he was crying. "god annaliese why" he said quietly.

is he serious? why? they treat me like a caged animal, him and my mother. like i'm something everyone needs to fix.

"why?" i practically yelled, less apologetic and finally angry. "you and mom treat me like i'm a fucking caged animal, for what reason? because i'm mentally ill?" i continued to scream "it's not my fault, maybe if you treated me like a person i wouldn't be this way. maybe by now i could've actually recovered but all you do is scream at me and hit me and she just fucking watches and lets it happen" i continued to shout while pointing to my mother who was now in the doorway.

they both looked at me silently, i don't think they expected me to yell. "you had every chance to actually help me" i cried while looking at them both.

904 words.
7 days.