Me, Myself and Minions

Chapter 9

"What is all of this?"

I looked around the lab – looked and saw it had banners on the roof, saying in clear printed writing.

CONGRATULATIONS!

"Congratulations?" I read out loud and could hear the giddy withheld laughter of my minions, "Congratulations... for what?"

The minions all cheered for me, of course, I'll translate as usual.

"FOR NOT DESTROYING THE WORLD!"

"Oh, you guys!" I said, waving off their praise and coming down a few steps to the main lair floor, "I was never really gonna do it."

That was a flat-out lie. And I think they knew that too.

But I was over that now. I was back at home doing my evil schemes... just not as evil as what I might've become.

I then saw two minions pull a handle towards me – that handle being connected to a small red cart and on the cart was a huge red velvet cake with black icing and words spelled in white cream.

BEST BOSS EVER!

I smiled a little uncomfortable.

They had done it. They had officially forgiven me from the monster I could've become.

Which I hoped I'd never become again.

"Right," I said as I was given the sharp butcher's knife and I sliced the cake into many pieces, asking my minions in a song, "Who wants the first slice?"

They all started shouting, Me me me! In their own language and I only chuckled to myself.

I handed out the slices like I was handing out flyers. The cake was massacred and eaten within only seconds.

This made me happy so much. Because they were happy. And even though my plan of starting war with Russia had failed... I still had them.

My family.

My minions.

My friends...

The little yellow men began to drink fizzy drinks poured out into paper cups and sang a sea shanty – though if you ask me why I couldn't tell you.

They were just unpredictable like that.

I smiled softly as I watched the show of my minions enjoying themselves and partying and I nodded to them in return.

I slowly slipped back over to the elevator, ascending upwards while I let them continue to celebrate and party downstairs.

I looked at the time on the clock and saw it was now seven in the morning.

I decided I'd try to get some shut-eye, but then I heard it.

A phone ringing.

I stood up instantly straight, and wandered over to my door, quickly pulling it open and heading to the dimly lit hall.

My phone was black as night, and I watched as it rattle from its ringing. I silently and slowly picked it up and placed the speaking part to my mouth as I whispered.

"...hello?"

"Hello, former Mr President."

It took me a second to recognize that voice but I stilted the moment the tone became familiar.

"Greg?"

"You think I would let you get away with what you did?"

"Ah, yes. I assumed you would."