Poetry To Help Heal

Will It Ever Get Easier?

Each day I find myself just wanting to sleep.

And it's not because I'm tired.

It's because when I'm asleep.

I dream about them.

I can feel every move they make.

Every little kick and punch.

I can feel them growing.

And I can't wait to see them.

But then I wake up.

And I remember that I'll never get to see them.

I'll never get to hold them.

I'll never know what they look like.

It's been two months since then.

But it still feels like yesterday.

I just want to sleep so I can be with them.

But I can't do that.

I have to keep moving forward.

I thought it would get easier with time.

But it doesn't.

I catch myself randomly feeling my stomach.

Just hoping to feel what I know will never happen.

And each time I catch myself doing it.

Your words whisper in my mind.

And I have to hold back the tears and pain.

Will it ever get easier?

Will I ever heal from this?

Will I ever have peace again?

And do you even actually care?

Or do I not even exist in your mind anymore?

But I guess it doesn't matter anymore.

What's done is done.

You might not be affected by it.

But I am.

I have to live each day remember everything.
That happened.

And I get to live with the memory and pain of what I lost.

Even if I wasn't ready for them.

That chose was taken from me.

And I don't know who I blame more.

You.

Or the stalkers that harassed me.

But honestly I probably blame you both.

I do blame you for the words you said the me.

That will forever live in my mind.

You showed me right there how you felt about the lost.

But again it was always about you.

So it doesn't matter what I'm going through.

Does it?

Because the only person you truly care about.

Is yourself.

I just wished you'd have cared enough.

About me, to actually see the pain I'm going through.