Definitely Not Gay (Harringrove)

Errands

Steve

Damn, I wish I had some other pants in this car. Gym shorts are short as is, but these ones are dangerously high on my thighs and low on my hips. And hella tight. I'm so fucking uncomfortable.

We pull into the video store.

I turn to Billy. "You don't have to come in with me, but I might take a second."

"Nah, I'll come. The girl here is hot." He follows me inside.

"It's the Hair King!" Shelly and Randy say at the same time.

"Hey, guys!" Shelly hugs me and Randy slaps me on the back.

Randy whistles playfully, eying my package. "Looking hot, Harrington."

"Yeah, I... sat in yogurt at lunch. These are my shorts from 8th grade."

"I've never wanted to be yogurt more," Shelly jokes.

"Need help finding a movie?" Randy asks.

"Yeah, date night."

Randy slaps my ass. "Well, let's get looking then."

"Well, hot damn," Shelly says. "Harrington and Hargrove? Am I in heaven?"

Billy leans over the counter. "You can be my yogurt, sweetheart."

Shelly looks like she's ready to faint.

Randy and I weed through just about everything. Endless Love, Grease 2, Footloose, 9 to 5, War Games.

I sigh. Nancy always hates what I pick.

"Hey, how about Splash?"

"Randy," I clap him on the back. "You are my new favorite person."

It's perfect. Tom Hanks is iconic and there's a naked girl. Also, it's got mermaids and lovey-dovey stuff, so Nancy should like it, too.

"Ring me up, Shelly. I found the perfect movie."

Shelly tears her eyes away from Billy. "Ooh, Splash?"

"Yep." I hop up on the counter. "Randy's idea. Think Nancy will like it?"

She scrunches her eyebrows. "Nancy is too hoity toity to know a good time." She widens her eyes, shocked at herself. "I'm sorry! I'm sure she's lovely, just... not my type of person."

"I get it. Sometimes two good people just don't enjoy each other's company. No shame in that." I hand her a wad of cash for the movie.

She breathes a sigh of relief. "You're so smart, Steve. And so hot, too! Wear those shorts more often!"

I laugh and wave. "Thanks, guys!" I walk out, Billy right behind me.

Shelly whispers to Randy. "Damn, I want to grab that ass so bad..."

Billy and I get back in the car. "We done, Harrington?"

"Nope. Drugstore."

Billy groans.

"Don't worry, you can stay in the car this time. I'll be in and out."

I get a bouquet of flowers, candles, and a shitload of candy.

"Alright, Hargrove," I say as I slide into the car. "Where do you live?"