𝗷𝗮𝗻𝗲, harry potter

˗ˋ 110

CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND TEN
✧
-: fifth year :-

── IN WHICH AN OUTBURST
FOLLOWS

. . .

Jane couldn't do anything to help this time. Harry knew that. He knew that everything before had been a step away from anything she might be able to do anyway, but this... it was something else.

He saw the way she glanced furtively towards him on the bench as Hermione explained what they had overheard. He heard her hiss about how the Extendables were never a good idea especially for something like this. He watched as she fell silently into step between him when Mrs Weasley, Moody and Tonks emerged from the Ward and they all made their way back to the train station.

She didn't say anything, and he didn't know it was because she didn't know what - because really, what could she say - or because she was scared it was somewhat true. Harry was terrified of that. Terrified that know she knew, she wouldn't be able to look at him like Dumbledore wouldn't, that she too would end up scared of seeing the green of his eyes turn red and evil and snake-like and not him because he wasn't anymore.

Harry remained silent when they boarded the tube, Jane sitting on one side of him as usual but not saying anything, her eyes remaining firmly on Ron's untied shoelaces as his mind ran through the memories of Voldemort's head erupting out the back of Quirrel's and his hand pulled through the thick hair over his crown. Would that happen to him? 

He couldn't help but think of what Sirius had told him during August earlier that year. When he was momentarily freed from the constant terror of wondering whether his girlfriend would be okay after being attacked by Dementors and exposed to a world she had no idea even existed until then. What Sirius had said - no, what Sirius had let slip - during that meeting had slipped his mind until then but now, he could think of nothing else.

'What's he after apart from followers?' He had asked. 

'Stuff he can only get by stealt... like a weapon.' Sirius had replied. 'Somethinghe didn't have last time.'

He was the weapon. Harry knew now. He had been what Sirius was talking about, there seemed to be no doubt in his mind anymore. There had to be a reason why he had a guard everywhere, and the reason wasn't to protect him, it was to protect everyone else. It was to protect Janae and the Weasleys and Mr Weasley, who he had attacked. He had done it, Voldemort had made him do it and there was every chance that he could see his thoughts right at that moment. 

And that... that scared him more than the idea of being... possessed again. That he could be there amongst his Jane, his friends, his family and it wouldn't just be him in his thoughts. 

"Are you all right, Harry, dear?" Mrs Weasley whispered,leaning across Ginny on his right to speak to him as the train rattled alongthrough its dark tunnel. "You don't look very well. Are youfeeling sick?"

They were all watching him. Except Jane, her gaze moving from Ron's shoes to Harry's knee. He shook his head violently andstared up at an advertisement for home insurance and waited for them to disembark the train.

"Harry, dear, are you sure you're all right?" Mrs Weasley continued in a worried voice, after they had climbed their way back to the surface of the city and were walking around the small park in the middle of Grimmauld Place. "You look ever sopale... Are you sure you slept this morning? You go upstairsto bed right now, and you can have a couple of hours' sleepbefore dinner, all right? You can nap in Jane's room, if you wish."