Love Me on December

Kabanata 24

Kabanata 24: Home

Giftson turned off the engine of our car when we finally arrived here at our lonely house in Sydney.

He caressed my hand he has been holding, and slightly squeeze with his warm palm. I'm hugging the cold porcelain jar of my mother in between my thighs with my right arm, as I'm absent-mindedly looking at nowhere while I felt him staring at me now.

"Baby, let's now get inside?" He spoke gently.

I only nod at him silently. Since we got here, I'm only silent and I feel comfort that Giftson let me be as he stayed and cared for me until now. We never had long conversations together simula noong nalaman ko ang katotohanan tungkol sa aking ina. Giftson embraces me or shower me kisses from time to time in every chances he gets as a way of comforting me. I'm glad that he is with me now that I am back in Sydney.

Umuulan na ng snow sa labas nang pinagbuksan na ako ni Giftson ng pinto. Pinayungan niya kaagad ako sa ulo gamit ang kaniyang braso, habang pareho na kaming naglalakad papasok na sa loob. Gumagabi na at sobrang tahimik din ng neighborhood namin.

Nang nasa doorstep na kami ay siya na mismo ang nagbukas sa tahimik at madilim naming bahay, as I keep hugging the cold porcelain jar in my arms. We immediately got in when he finally unlocked the door, at siya na mismo ang nagbukas ng mga ilaw.

My eyes drifted towards our fireplace when the lights are finally on. My father's white porcelain jar is above the empty fireplace. It has flowers around it that I usually decorate. Ngayon... madadagdagan na ang ilalagay ko sa tabi ng labi ni Dad.

Nang makalapit na ako yakap-yakap ang malamig na porcelain jar sa aking mga bisig ay mabilis nang nagsipatakan ang aking mga luha.

"Dad... M-Mom is finally home." I cried.

Giftson immediately caress my back that now he's beside me standing in front of my father's remains.

I cried once more as I felt my chest tightened in grief and unbearable pain.

My mother... is finally back home after she left us to meet her first love in the Philippines. She's now back, but in a different way... only her remains made it back here.

Unti-unti ko nang ipinatong ang marble porcelain jar ni Mom sa tabi ng white porcelain jar ni Dad. I was shaking while doing it, so Giftson helped me to place them properly above the fireplace. Nang matapos na namin itong maayos, umatras na ako at muli nang tumayo sa kinatatayuan kanina.

Mom indeed came back here when she knew about my father's death. Pero... hindi ko na siya pinahintulutan na makapasok muli sa pamamahay namin simula nang magtaksil siya sa pamilya namin. My mother betrayed us, and not just that... she cheated due to her selfishness and even came back to her old lover.

I would never understand why she have committed adultery. I would never understand why she let her selfishness and wickedness prevail over her. I would never understand why she chose to be with her first love in the last years of her life instead with me and Dad.

Giftson is now embracing me into a warm hug from the back as I keep mourning over my parents. I grieve for them so much that I can't still process that it's finally over. Their lives are finally over, but the pain they instilled in me has lengthen and deepen. Wala na yatang mas ikasasakit pa sa nararamdaman kong sakit at lungkot sa pagkawala na ngayon ng mga magulang ko.

"Baby, shhh... hush now... It's time for dinner and rest." Giftson whispered softly onto my hair, at nanatili pa rin siyang nakayakap sa'kin mula sa likuran.

Pinunasan ko na ang mga luhang patuloy pa ring pumapatak sa aking pisngi, at marahan na akong pinaharap ni Giftson sa kaniya. Magkaharap na kami ngayon at mabilis na niya akong tinutulungang punasan ang aking mga luha.