16 02
Today i felt like updating quicker and making this ny to do list for today
Went to school. Wasn't too bad. Had gym. Britt fell over in slow notion on her bike lol. Natma, britt and I have to teach an entire lesson soon. I could have told britt to go away so only we both did it for only 30 minutes but honestly she took the hard part.
Natma gonna do the beginning, britt the middle and i the end.
Good bc i aint doing the middle nor does Natma.
Idk if ur gonna read this natma but honestly that would be better. I cant communicate through rl nor messages so it'll be better if you just look inside my thoughts. Bleh that sounds cringe but idk how else to put it.
Natma got angry at me for some reason. Mocked my voice a bit. That one actually hurt a bit. I dont have a naturally high voice but it goes higher every time i get stressed. Socializing (even with her) makes me stress tf out so it just goes up. I cant do shit about it.
Like i fucking know it can get annoying but like i said many fucking times i cant do anything about it. i dont even fucking notice it happens. It would be no problem if you mentioned when it was happening i would try to lower it. But no you keep mocking everything i say.
I know i repeat myself a lot but its just how i am. I literally forget that i said it so i say it again.
Told me to shut my fat mouth and some more similar things too. Kinda used to this by now so i just shrugged that off. I guess it might have been because i was complaining about how bad i am at dutch to myself/half to britt.
And she could have been jealous?? I know i do have better grades than her normally but like not my fault that i do. And honestly i am bad at dutch. I keep talking in English while she keeps talking in dutch.
Pretty sure that shows whose better at what.
I dont wanna say that she should learn and pay attention just like me in school cuz idk what she does.
At this point she is easier piss off than me-
(diagnosed with anger issues, i have no idea what kind, dont wanna dig up the papers, never listened to the docter, i was like 7, had anger management lessons, kinda worked, tho im quick to psychical violence if i get pissed off or teased too much, emotionally unstable, i dont like to talk about this)
Spaced out a few times in school.
Burned my whole mouth bc of baked beans
Im gonna do the rest of my homework soon
I wanna play some yandere visual novels to keep myself distracted rn
I also wanna continue writing my book.
Honestly rn i have no energy to do anything but i guess ill do whatever i wanted to do before this no motivation thing.
School is shit
I hate venting. Even on pages that nobody will ever read. It does help tho. I guess.
Can i skip like 6 years of my life to the part where i have ny cafe and can live in peace with no stressful shit?
Wish it was that easy.
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