destiel oneshots

Cas pov from help

A/n: might be different then deans pov

We were in a cafè
Dean sat there and ate his pie
"How your feeling?"
"I'm fine cas"
"No you're not"

He continue eating his pie and just for a moment I could see his wrist. He always wears jackets I didn't know why but now I know why. He's cutting himself he's hurting himslef. I was worried about him.

"Cas?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
"Of course I am"

But honestly I just don't know how to say that I saw it so for now I let him finish his pie

We went to the impala dean loves the car.

"Are you okay dean?"
"I said I'm fine" he shouted
"I'm sorry cas"
"No it's okay"

And it really is obviously he not okay.
He started the car and for the rest of the ride I just was looking out of the window.

When we arrived I asked him again
"Are you okay?"
"Yes"
"Then show me your arm"
Dean was surprised I think
"What?no"
"Now"
"I don't do it anymore"
"Then show me your arms"

It toke time but in the end he rolled up the sleeve and you could see he was last doing it today

"Dean that's from today"
He stayed quiet
"Let me heal it"
He protest but  I healed it anyway

"Why do you do this?" I asked

"I just don't know I want to feel pain I want to feel something I guess it helps me get ride of my thoughts. Or when I think something my fault I do it. And my dad... he beat me up hit me he said I'm a failure he gave me the blame for everything that went wrong Sam is gone? My fault someone got murdered? My fault? I couldn't do anything right to him he hated Me" dean broke down in tears

I hate him saying like this I hate that I couldn't do anything about it what his father...what this asshole did to him he didn't deserve that nobody does I wish I could protected him from all that

"Dean..."
"Sorry"
"You don't have to be sorry you need help"
"It's not like I want to kill myself" he laughed  nervously

I didn't know how to respond to that

"Where are you hiding ALL the sharp things"
He went to his bedroom. I followed him
He gave it to me
"Is this all?"
"Yeah"
I went to the bathroom and put away the razors and pills and other
I destroyed them and got them out of the bunker

When I went to dean again he was holding a blade in his hand I was worried
"Did you-"
He interrupted me
"No cas I thought about it but I didn't" he gave it to me . I toke it

"Give me your gun dean"
"Why?"
"You know why"
"Fine"
He pulled it out of his pocket and gave it to me
"Do you tell Sam?"
"Do you want me to?"
"No"
"Then I won't tell him"

"Cas?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks"
"For what?"
"For saving me"
"So you-"
He interrupted me
"Yes cas I thought about it"

He wanted to kill himslef? How did I not notice am I that stupid? I have to protect him. From himslef. I love him.

"Do you still?"
"A bit less now"
I didn't know how to respond to that
"I talk to Sam and say you're sick

I went to sam

"Hey how you doing"
"Deans sick you have to leave"
"Why?"
"I can't tell you more please sam"
"Okay I stay at Gabriel"
"Okay I text you when you can come again"
"Okay" Sammy said confused

I went back to dean

"Sam is at Gabriel's"
"So
"We could go watch The new batman movie"
"No dean you can't leave the bunker"
"Why not?"
"You know why"
I don't want him to hurt himself and outside it's dangerous

"So we watch a western film"
"With huckleberry in it?"
"What you think?"
"Dean we watched it more than 10 times"
" I can't leave the bunker I decide to watch"
"Fine"
"And can you stay here?"
"I stay at the bunker anyway"
"No i mean here with me in my bed i feel safe when you are here"
"Sure"
We watched huckleberry for i don't know times and cuddled it was nice. And for a moment we forgot all things.

We felt asleep in each other arms