Just A Friend~ CubeSMP Fanfiction

Chapter 12: Triggered

~*~!!TRIGGER WARNING!!~*~

My eyes fluttered open revealing the bright hospital room, I looked to my left to see Jordan sleeping in the hospital bed next to me, I slowly stood up and stretched realizing that I was still in my dress from last night, I smiled down at Jordan taking in how peaceful he looked. My smile disappeared when I saw I got another text from the anonymous number that had sent me the first picture of what Jordan had did, this time they had sent me a video. I unlocked my phone and played the video with a frown. The video started and instantly I saw Jordan and the girl from the picture, The girl was blonde with a petite frame and a perfect smile, Jordan smiled at the girl and pushed her up against a wall kissing her softly. I felt my stomach churn "why..." I whispered holding back my tears. I grabbed my purse off the chair and ran out of the room without takin another look at him.

Just as I reached the the front doors of the hospital I was stopped by Ryan who had just walked in "what're Ya doing Lux?" He asked grabbing my arm and turning my body towards him, the moment he saw my face his smile faded "What's wrong?..." he asked softly, I shoved my phone at him and he took it, he stared at the screen taking a deep breath before playing the video. As he watched it I managed to slip away and run to the bathroom. The moment I got in the private bathroom I collapsed onto the tile floor tears running down my face. I dug through my purse until I found what I was looking for, my eyeliner pencil sharpener. I fiddled with the sharpener frustrated when the blade wouldn't pop out, I threw the sharpener at the wall and it cracked giving me access to the blade, I lunged across the floor and snatched the sharpener up from the floor hungrily. This time I managed to break the plastic and pop the blade out with ease. I ran my fingers over the silver object taking deep breaths "just do it Lux" is whispered to myself the blade hovering over my arm "you're an ugly, worthless bitch. Just do it." I whispered and with that I dug the blade into my arm and sliced across my skin, thick red liquid drizzled out of my arm causing me to wince. I made a few more fairly deep cuts along the inside of my arm near my elbow before I let the blade hover over my wrist, I made a tiny unsatisfying cut on my wrist "do it" I muttered to myself, but before I could someone began banging on the door "LUX LET ME IN" Ryan said his voice panicky, I felt hot tears slide down my face as the banging grew louder "LUX" Ryan called obviously desperate, I didn't move from my spot on the floor. To my despair a nurse had provided Ryan with a key and he had swung the door open. Ryan ran in closing and locking the door behind him, he looked down at me his eyes wandering over my body and finally they landed on my arm of which was covered in blood. Ryan shook his head and sat on the floor with me, I let out a sob avoiding Ryan's gaze. Ryan reached over and took my hand attempting to examine the cuts, I pulled my arm back instinctively my breathing becoming faster and faster "let me see." Ryan insisted his voice as serious as ever, he slowly reached over and grabbed my arm once again but this time I let him, he examined the cuts shaking his head "Lux, it's not worth it... It really isn't" Ryan whispered looking at me sympathetically "you know I'm always here, I really am" Ryan added squeezing my hand "I know you are" I whispered looking at my lap "good. Now let's get you cleaned up" Ryan whispered helping me to my feet.

It took Ryan and I only minutes to clean me up, he had given me his sweater to hide the cuts as we walked through the hospital. I thought we had made it to Ryan's car without any disturbances but right before I got into his car someone came running up to us. It was Maclean, Ryan and Jordan's best friend. "Ryan! Lux!" Maclean said as he came stopped by our car "why are you guys leaving?" Maclean asked tilting his head slightly "that's not important" Ryan said shooting Maclean a warning look, Maclean made an 'o' shape with his mouth before turning around and walking towards the hospital doors. I sighed as I climbed into the passenger seat of Ryan's car.

I stared out the window of Ryan's car lost in my thoughts until my phone started ringing. I pulled my phone out of my purse and answered without even looking at the caller ID

"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN" my mother yelled

I cringed "hello mother" I muttered

"put the phone of speaker" Ryan said simply

"no Ryan" I said eyeing him

"SO YOU'RE WITH RYAN" my mother yelled her rage obvious

"put it on speaker. right now." Ryan demanded

I sighed pressing the speaker button

"Ryan! bring my daughter home right now" my mother said her voice stiff

"well hello to you too" Ryan said with a sigh

"Ryan." my mother said warningly

"I'm not taking her home unless she wants to go home" Ryan said simply

my mother was silent for several seconds before hanging up on us. I put my hands over my face tears threatening to spill out of my eyes, Ryan simply put his hand on my back in a comforting way.

I paced inside of Ryan's living room trying to clear my mind. I had been pacing for almost 10 minutes when Ryan grabbed my shoulder forcing me to stop "Lux.. you need to stop" he said sternly, I took a deep breath "my life's a mess" I said suddenly "a complete and utter mess." I said breathing out a heavy sigh, Ryan stepped closer to me leaving us just inches apart "everything will be okay" Ryan whispered smiling at me slightly, then before I knew it I had broken the tiny distance between us. I pressed my lips to his without even thinking, but obviously he was thinking because he pushed me away "Lux, this is wrong. You love Jordan and he loves you. I'm not letting you make this mistake... no matter how badly I want to kiss you, I will not let you ruin this for yourself." Ryan said looking into my eyes, I raised one eyebrow "so... you want to kiss me?" I asked smirking "that's besides the point" Ryan said rolling his eyes at me "Lux... Jordan wouldn't intentionally hurt you..." Ryan added "what are you saying?" I asked "I think there was more to that night than we think" Ryan whispered "he slept with her.. what more is there to find out" I scoffed crossing my arms "Lux... I think something happened that night, something out of his control" Ryan said as if he had spend a lot of time thinking about the situation "so... you are trying to clear his name" I said "I guess... I don't know!" Ryan sighed "how are you going to figure it out" I questioned "I have no idea... but I'm going to figure this out.. for you." Ryan said planting a gentle kiss on my forehead before walking away. I felt myself craving more but I resisted the urge to go after him.

*Will's POV*

I felt absolutely sick abort what I had done. I couldn't stand the thought that I had hurt so many people. I picked up my phone and called Derek. the ringer went off a few times before he answered "what do you want." he said into the phone harshly "Derek, we need to fix this" I said desperately "I thought I made it clear that I don't undo the things I've been asked to do." Derek said sounding annoyed "but..." I started but instantly I gave up "goodbye Will." Derek said hanging up. I threw my phone across the room letting it hit the wall and fall onto the floor, I ran a hand through my hair taking deep breathes. I need to fix this.