Carpe Omnia - cash au -

Wonder

Nash POV

I have to say being a professional Lacrosse player is a lot more busy than I had anticipated. Everyday I go from working out at the gym to team meetings to practice and I grab food to eat in between. It's a tough schedule to get used to but I know I just need time to adjust.

Cameron has been busy this week moving in to his apartment, he didn't ask me for help but I found out through Matt that he's moving his furniture in today. I plan to show up and help with everything, I just want to surprise him and also ask why he wouldn't ask me for help. We've kept in touch via texts and I want to hear the sound of his voice so much but I'm not willing to take the first step and call him. It might be related to the way he treated me when we broke up, like I was a bother whenever I initiated contact with him. I just don't want to put myself out there like that, like I'm the one chasing him. Maybe that's not fair to Cameron but it's life and life isn't always fair.

I head to the gym early, I've met up with Kenny everyday this week to work out together but since I'm helping Cameron move in today I had to come earlier. I did let Kenny know that and when I arrive at the gym I'm surprised to find that he's waiting there for me.

"Hey, what's up man? I didn't expect you to meet me here since it's earlier than we usually work out," I comment with a friendly smile on my face. It's always good to work out with someone else, someone who has the same goals as you because then you have someone who will push you when you can't or don't want to push yourself.

"I can't work out without my gym buddy," he replies nonchalantly and we head inside together.

We hit the weights and I kind of space out, I think about the first few months without Cameron at Stanford. It was torture not having him there to support me, it's crazy how much I relied on Cameron and the how harsh it was when the reality of living without him sank in. He had been there supporting me since the first moment I started playing Lacrosse. He inspired me to want to be the best, listening to his cheers and having his presence there was something that pushed me to work hard. There was a gaping hole in my life without him, it was a shock and it was something that I never truly got used to. When he broke up with me and I went back to Stanford by myself I slipped into a dark place. I overworked my body and if it wasn't for my coach stepping in, I could have injured myself pretty badly. I still felt the all consuming pain but I channeled it differently, I didn't let myself slip back there.

"Nash!"

Kenny's voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I look at him.

"Bro, you were a million miles away," he comments and I shrug but I don't elaborate. Kenny knows the very basics of my fall out with Cameron, I don't want to tell him anymore than that because it's none of his business. I consider him a friend but definitely not close enough to bare my soul to. I already have friends that I can do that with and I don't want anymore.

He's a little quiet after that and I think he may feel a little salty at my response but I don't care enough to address it.

"Why are you working out early?" He asks after a while of tense silence.

"I'm helping someone move," I reply and I'm telling the truth, I just don't feel like getting into a discussion about Cameron with him. For whatever reason Kenny has an intense dislike for Cameron, they only just met on Friday so it's really confusing and it might seem a little callous but I don't really care how Kenny feels about Cameron because his opinion isn't important to me. I don't even know why I listened to him about not inviting Cameron to my first game and party, I guess it's because I was a little insecure about it to begin with, I didn't want Cameron to reject my invitation.

"Oh yeah, who? I can help too," he says and I'm quiet as I think about his offer to help. I really don't want him causing problems between Cameron and I, our relationship with each other is fragile right now and I want to be careful. He's made his dislike of Cameron pretty clear to me and while I can appreciate the fact that he might think he's looking out for me, he really doesn't know me that well. I just don't want him thinking he can say anything negative to Cameron and that it would be okay with me because it wouldn't. But I also don't care enough about him to bother warning him and allowing him to come with me to Cameron's.