The L'Tavern was one of the more successful taverns in town. And why wouldn't it be. Tommy handles the bar, making people buy more with his bets and challenges. Tubbo washes the used dishes, but constantly stops to work with Tommy and help serve drinks. Niki makes all the food. Fundy has the night shift and cleans all the rooms in the inn-part of the tavern. And of course, Wilbur was in charge of the tables. If you were to ask him three years ago about his job, he would say he liked it. His charisma was easily made for this sort of thing. But ever since some random hybrid tried to flirt with him, and failed, it has become a challenge over who can get him to react positively to their advances.
Wilbur begrudgingly woke up for his shift. He was always the second one up. First being Niki, she needs to prepare all the bread after all. He was grateful for the horse hybrid, she can calm him down when it all gets too much. He looked over to Tommy and Tubbo's sleeping forms, they were tangled in each other's limbs. Tommy was a cow and Tubbo a moobloom. They fit each other perfectly. Fundy was next to them, face buried in his pillow. His ears twitching every so often. He probably just came in half an hour ago.
Wilbur walked down stairs and saw his favorite horse hybrid pulling loafs out of the oven.
"Good morning, Niki."
"Oh! Good morning, Wil."
"Do you think that maybe Tubbo and I can switch jobs for today."
"Hehe. No you can't. You bring in most of the customers anyway. We need business, Wilbur, and everyone's attracted to your wonderful personality."
"Har har. You mean my stunning looks. Seriously though, it gets so annoying. All of them only want to get in my pants, bet it's fun for them to see me suffer."
"Aw, come on, Wil. It's not so bad. You remember that big tip that guard captain gave you. We could finally expand the tavern. That was great, wasn't it? Plus, maybe you could try flirting back. That might make it more fun."
"...Maybe. I could try that. Who knows, it could help us get enough money to buy a better stable."
"That's the spirit! Now clean up the place. Fundy didn't before he went to bed."
Signing dramatically, earning him a giggle from Niki, Wilbur went to grab one of the trays and a rag. He went out to the place all the customers eat and saw one or two tables occupied. It was still very early in the morning, so most people are still in their rooms sleeping. Wilbur went around and put leftover dishes on his tray before wiping down the tables.
It was about 8 A.M when business started to pick up. Tommy and Tubbo arriving an hour earlier to set everything up. Things seemed to be going well. Niki was cooking things at a reasonable pace. They weren't getting bombarded with orders. A bard was playing on the little stage they had. Of course Wilbur got the occasional pick-up line, but that was fine. It wasn't until a decent sized party of people came in before things really got annoying for the bunny hybrid.
The party consisted of a cheetah with a green cloak, a mouse with white goggles, a dog with a bandana, a grey bird with a bucket hat, a pig in a really heavy-looking cloak, a bat with blackened-glasses, a yellow duck in a beanie, and a ram with a bright red tie.
"Hello there. Welcome to L'Tavern. What would you want to eat or drink."
The ram man spoke first, "Well I think we could all use a round of some whiskey and vodka, cutie. Think you could give us that, hot stuff?"
"Of course. Your drinks will be here in 5 minutes."
With that, he walked away towards the bar.
-¡- perspective change -¡-
"Damn, what a hot rabbit."
"Schlatt, as much as I agree with you, shut up."
Dream was getting fed up with Schlatt's constant comments. They have only been traveling together for a few weeks and he already wants to rip out his tongue. Though he did have to admit, the bunny was pretty cute.
"Oh come on, green boy. Let me check him out. He's hot. Right, Quackity?"
"Yeah. I wonder if he's single."
Technoblade spoke up at that, "Apparently he's the hardest catch. Many people tried flirting with him, but none have succeeded. His name's Wilbur, by the way."
"And how do you know that, Techno?" Eret asked.
"While you were out simping over the attractive, I studied the blade and the art of eavesdropping."
"Wilbur, ey?" Schlatt seemed to have a glint in his eye. The same glint he has when he scams people, "And Mr. PrettyBoy's a tough prize. Say... I bet I can get him to crack. Yeah, I'll make him a moaning mess before we leave."
This time George spoke up, "And what makes you think you can get him to like you. Literally everbody hates you as soon as you open your mouth."
"Oh, mousey here thinks he can do better. Hah! Please! You can't do anything."
"Why you-"
Eret interrupted before George could continue. "Heeeey. Why don't you both chill. You can both try to flirt with him. I'll have to warn you that I'll try too. I'm pretty sure everyone at this table ,excluding Phil and Techno, thinks he's cute."
"I can vouch," Sapnap half raised his hand, "Hey, Phil. When are we planning on leaving."
"Well, it was supposed to be the day after tomorrow, but we can stay for a while if you all want to flirt with him."
"Alright, it's settled." Schlatt clapped his hands together. "George, and the rest of you guys too I guess, hope you're ready to fail."
-¡- perspective change again -¡-
Wilbur was ready to throw in the towel. It hadn't even been an hour yet. If he hears another "Hey, Loverboy," or "Eeey, hot mama," he will flip his shit.
"Hey, Tommy, Tubbo."
"Hi, Wilbur"
"Hey, Big Man."
"I need another bottle of whiskey, vodka, and beer. And a shot of some for me as well."
"Aww, Wilbur. Hold on, Tubbo can you handle that guy with the blue hair for a bit... Thanks. Anyway, Wilbur. Come on, Surely there not that bad. It can't be worse than that one fish, right?"
"It's way worse. They all do nothing except flirt and drink, like, a pick-up line here or a very sexual comment there. Then they order more drinks. Rinse and repeat. I'm pretty sure the duck and the dog are already wasted."
"Damn. Alright let me get the drinks. You can come over here anytime you want to cool off, okay. You don't have to listen to those bastards."
"Thanks, Tommy. I'll keep that in mind. Now to walk back to hell."
They both chuckled at that before they split. Tommy going over to help Tubbo with the really weird blue-haired guy and Wilbur walking back to the table with their drinks.
"Here are your drinks. Enjoy."
"Well, we'd -hic- enjoy it more -hic- if you stay -hic- with us, cariño."
The duck then proceeded to take a large swig of the beer.
"No thanks. I have other tables to-"
"I'm sure they can wait." Dream, was it, interrupted. "Why don't you sit down with us? We really love your company."
Wilbur was just tired. He thought back to what Niki said earlier and thought to give it a try. "Oh, really. Well I'm afraid if I stay here I'll just melt. All of you are quite hot yourselves."
Okay, he had to admit, he could see the fun in flirting back. All of their faces turned many different shades of red. And they looked very surprised. He smirked at that and turned back to get more drinks from Tommy.
Two, or well nine, can play this game.
================================
Now Techno is aroace and Phil is a straight dad.
And some text is different.
