Knowledge is Power

Chapter 74

The few Death Eater meetings that the dark lord held between Hallowe'en and the Christmas break were unsettling for Severus. Voldemort was growing increasingly more obsessed over finding Potter. This in itself, he could understand, but it was the obviously unstable way he behaved on the matter that disturbed Severus. It made him less predictable and worse less manageable.

Severus's tried and true calm reassurances weren't doing their usual job. Worse Voldemort seemed to mistrust even his closest for no apparent reason, another unpleasant sign of the man's mental unraveling. His lashing out at even the Lestranges made him more dangerous to his own loyal followers in a way that only Regulus and Kreacher had seen as obvious in previous years.
"Too many Horcruxes making too many problems, and not enough soul to go round," Severus complained to Magritte after he and Nightshade returned from an evening Death Eater meeting at Malfoy Manor in mid November.

"Amethyst wouldn't even be able to stabilize that mind anymore," Mag said, referring to the most powerful gemstone for healing mental issues.
//The fucking amethyst would run,// Nightshade chimed in darkly, his head deep in a cup of brandy that he'd demanded as soon as they returned to Severus's private chambers.
"Well at least he believes that Albus is dead, so that's something," Severus said.
These days one had to count one's blessings as they could be so few and far between. Hopefully Albus still found him to be predictable enough, because if not, all of their faking his death efforts were wasted. As Severus hated being Headmaster, he thought that had better not be the case!

As they approached Christmas, Severus found it difficult to find the holiday cheer. Needing a break from the school, he longed to shut Hogwarts for the holidays. He didn't dare, though, as it may draw unwanted dark lord attention and thus risky questions. Deciding to be even more cautious now that they were in the home stretch as it were, Severus wrote to inform his Mum that he was unable to do the holidays this year due to his increased duties at Hogwarts.

Though Severus encouraged Mag to spend Christmas with her family, she refused.
"I won't be able to see you unless I'm in my rooms, though," he protested.
"And unfortunately I will have to come out some for meals and such at least. I hate the idea of having to eat Christmas dinner with people I dislike while you eat it here at the desk later. It just isn't festive and I feel I've taken enough from you already this year."

Mag widened her large green eyes.
"How have you taken anything from me? I've chosen to be here even though we can't see one another much. I busy myself with Reece and Griphook, and it's fine. You hate being here and you aren't spending these holidays alone," she said firmly.
Severus sighed, then chuckled, shaking his head.
"How is it that you always get your way?"
"Not always," she corrected with an amused smile.
"You're still dressed, after all."

When Christmas Eve at last arrived, Severus was waiting for something unpleasant to happen. Perhaps Voldemort sacrificing a baby under the Hogwarts Christmas tree in The Great Hall or some such. The day passed quietly, however. Things only got a little strange at dinner when Filius leaned over and whispered for Severus not to eat too much.

"I have a bad feeling about the food," Filius explained.
"Don't take any to Mag either. I've got some in my room I'll share after dinner is over with here."
Severus silently arched his brows, but nodded. He was relieved Filius had remained behind with him for the holidays this year even if the little charms master was behaving oddly. Perhaps the stress was at last getting to him as well. Severus picked at his food without eating it, though, and left with Filius at the end of the meal.

//I hope he's got enough of this food in his room to share with a god damn owl, cause I gotta eat too,// Nightshade complained from his usual spot on Severus's shoulder.
//What the fuck could be wrong with the food anyway? Does Flitwick think the students are so pissed they're finally trying to poison you at the expense of the entire staff table,// Nightshade wondered speculatively.
A disturbing thought, Severus decided dryly.
//Your holiday spirit is about as enlightened as it gets, but you could be right,// he told the owl.