Nyah Renae Kennedy Is Running

9. Hundreds

Several hours of flipping through tv channels and watching the most random assortment of movies and shows, I finally peeled myself off the couch and made Shep dinner. With hopes that he ate the Chinese, I made a sandwich and grabbed an orange soda. This time I knocked and waited.

After about thirty seconds with no reply, I barged in anyways and found his bed empty. I panicked for like half a second until I saw his plate from lunch was empty. The smile that bloomed across my face, the relief that flooded my chest? It was euphoric, better than any drug I've ever tried and I've tried a few.

I went and swapped the plates, about to leave when I heard what sounded like twelve bottles hitting tile in succession. I set down the empty plate and took a step towards the bathroom, "Shep? You good?"

Almost as soon as I asked, the door opened and the cloud of smoke that smelled like cherry and weed that billowed around him could've been stage affects the way it made my heart stutter. Not just the smoke though, the whole image.

Shepherd is tall, I forgot just how tall he was, since I've only seen him laying down lately. They made sure he could make it to the bathroom before he left the facility, so he doesn't need help. Which means I haven't had to look up at him, it also meant I haven't gotten to see the way he's filled out over the years.

I bit my lip and then quickly released it. My committed eyes aren't blind, but it can't look like I'm checking him out! I swallowed, taking only half a second to appreciate the thick body professional sports has given him before forcing my eyes back to his.

They were blue and red and glazed over, so I didn't bother to ask him anything, I just stepped aside. His eyes fell from mine and wandered over me before he took in a deep breath and began moving back to the bed with the help of some crutches. While he did that, I checked the bathroom and saw what made the noise.

Four pill bottles lay on the ground by the sink and tub. I went to pick them up and set them back on the counter. Besides the bottles, the bathroom was surprisingly clean for a man who can't really bend over. Satisfied, I left the bathroom and shut the door, just in time to watch Shep, already in bed, heave his casted leg up onto the pillows.

His face was very red, his jaw tight as he settled in. Once it was situated on the pillow, he cut his eyes to me. "What?"

I shook my head, walking closer to the bed only so I could grab the empty plate. When I turned to walk away, he touched my arm, drawing my attention. "Hmm?"

His eyes were sitting low, his fingers still on my arm, he sighed, speaking so softly. "Sorry for this morning."

"Okay." I whispered back, feeling like this moment was super delicate for some reason.

He dragged his eyes up to meet mine, "When's mama C coming back?" He wanted to know, eyebrows knitting together as he studied my face inscrutably.

I licked my bottom lip, his fingers growing hot on my forearm. "I'm not sure, let me ask and find out." I told him, my mouth pulling to the side as something moved in my chest.

I blinked away the tears, not moving until he nodded and dropped his arm. "Turn off the lights," He said louder this time, laying his arm over his eyes. I did as he asked.

•

"Mom, are you coming back anytime soon?"

"I'm not sure when I can get back but I plan to. Why?"

I sighed, curling my body tighter around my pillow. I really needed a hug or a snuggle or something but right after dinner Sean and Danny ran off to have makeup sex and Ari's asleep/hates me, so. "Shep asked about you."