Among Us Logic Shit: The Sequel

Stoner Goes To McDonald's: A Stoner-Centric Fic

Heya! So...it's been a while. You probably thought I was dead, eh? Unfortunately, I'm not, and now you have to deal with more of my obnoxious bullshit.

Basically I haven't updated in a while because if you couldn't tell, I lost interest in the fandom a bit ago, and I haven't been able to force myself to write or draw anything AUL related, not even Stoner related shit.  Also, my mental health has kinda been going on a downward spiral, and that's taken away my motivation again.  I'm starting to get my shit together a bit more, though, and I just started taking antidepressants for the fourth time.  I'm hoping that they'll actually do shit this time instead of making me feel worse like Prozac did.

Anyway, I have the motivation to write whatever the fuck this is, so uhh...enjoy, I guess.

Stoner Goes to McDonald's

It was a regular Thursday afternoon, and Stoner was feeling a bit hungry.  He had a bit of trouble deciding what to get for lunch.  Wendy's, Taco Bell, Chipotle...there's too many fucking options for one person to choose from.

Then...he remembered.

A new McDonald's had opened right around where he lives.

He thought it would be a good idea to check it out, and so he went, looking for the new restaurant with hunger in his eyes.

When he found it-

HOLY MOSES, IT WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

Stoner had never seen a McDonald's so beautiful in his fucking life.  Mesmerized by the beauty of the McDonald's, he strutted inside, feeling as though he's not good enough to walk into such a beautiful place.  No matter how hard he tried, he could never amount to TheGentleman's fanciness, Player's utter thiccness, or Veteran's on-going passion for food.

For a moment, Stoner felt...weak.  Like he was nothing, just an outcast compared to his friends. That's probably why he turned to weed, because he knew that he could never accomplish anything great in his life, and the weed has allowed him to dissociate and get away from life as we know it. When nothing else was able to cheer him up, weed has always helped him...well, except for the time he had a panic attack after smoking weed. And that other time where it happened again. And that other time. And that-

Yeah, Stoner shortly realized that maybe he shouldn't be smoking so much weed. But still, it's helped him more than any person has. That's why he keeps to himself about his emotions, because he doesn't want people to try to "help" when they're only going to make shit worse.

Stoner didn't realize before how negatively people have affected him and how he views the world. It was at that moment that Stoner, for the first time in three years, cried. He couldn't stop; it was like tiny waterfalls coming out of his eyes, pouring out excessively.  He wanted to go home out of pure embarrassment, but he couldn't.

He had a mission to complete.  He wasn't about to go home just because he couldn't stop sobbing; he had to persevere through the pain.  Stoner knew that it would be 100% worth it in the end.

And boy was he right.

He went inside the McDonald's and waited in the line, which was surprisingly short. People generally always flood the new restaurants in town, but I guess it is just a McDonald's, after all. But actually, it isn't just any old McDonald's, oh no, and you'll be sure to see the many surprises awaiting.

Finally, it was Stoner's turn, and he was ready to order.

"I'll take a Big Mac with no pickles and uhh...extra mushrooms."

The cashier rung up his order, and Stoner waited happily for his meal.

A few minutes later, his meal was ready, and he was ready to dig in. He took one bite, and...

THE FUCKER TASTED LIKE PURE MAGIC.

That was pure legitness.  Literally the best burger that he'd ever tasted.  No burger he's eaten has ever tasted that fucking good, not even the double triple bossy deluxe he'd ordered on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axel grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.  He thought that was the best thing he'd ever consume, but this here burger was more than enough to prove him wrong.

After eating the burger, Stoner felt a bit strange. It was a feeling that he surprisingly hadn't experienced prior. He's tripped before, but not like this.  Is...is this what death feels like?  Of fucking course not; death just feels like death.  But still...there's something off...maybe it was the burger?

Soon enough, his gut was telling him go to the bathroom.  Quickly.  He rushed to the bathroom as quickly as he could, his shoes nearly burning from the combination of speed and force.

DAMNNNNNNNNN, THE BATHROOMS ARE NICE!

Stoner was ready to pull out a blunt, and that's when he saw it.

A hole in the wall.  It seemed to be a portal of some sort. It looked very punched in, but also stretched. Maybe someone punched the hole twice to make it big. Either way, the hole very much piqued Stoner's interest, and so he went inside the hole.

In the hole, Stoner found himself inside a Wonderland like place but with even trippier colors. The leaves of the trees before him were rainbow-colored and melting into the grass below it, which was also melting. The sky was a deep purple with millions of pastel colored stars in it, the constellations looking more like chalk drawings rather than real constellations. The fauna consisted of weird but friendly looking bears, ugly ass birds with giant feathers on their heads, and a small amount of deer.

Despite it being difficult to walk, this place was fucking paradise.  Stoner had never felt so happy in his entire life; he felt like he was finally home in a place where he belonged.  With this change of scenery, he could finally be at peace with himself and his surroundings.  He could live all alone with the animals, something he'd really enjoy doing for the rest of his life.  No more comparing himself to his friends, no more feeling like he's not good enough, no more overthinking everything.  He could just be hims-

Wait, is that the Lorax?

Stoner never found out because in the morning, he found himself in the McDonald's dumpster, looking all shaken up.  He didn't know how he'd gotten there, but he knew one thing for sure:

"Man, I sure did trip balls."

And the story's finished!  Sorry if it's too stupid.  I just got the motivation to write about Stoner, and so here we are.  It has been a while since I've written anything, though, so it'd make sense that I kinda suck now.

Anyways, that's it for this chapter!  See you guys in the next one!