The society of Dicks

chapter 7: molest your kitten

Daisy was carrying the cage, the bottom of it had wheels, it made it easier to carry him. She walked down the hall with him, and finally came to the door. She pulled out her necklace, and placed it on the scanner, the door opened. "Updated", he said in a grouchy tone. Tyler didn't like new technology, thats why his science lab was entered by a secret door. Daisy pulled him in, and set him by the table. "Now", she started. "I'm not stupid, what are you building", she asked. "Anything  in particular?", he asked sarcastically. "Actually yeah, nuke", she said. "Well, you'd be wrong then", he said."huh, really", daisy said. "Man, well I guess i'm an idiot", she said. "Well I wouldn't say idiot..", he said. "I was being sarcastic", she said. "You know for a jerk like you, you should be on our side", she said." "oh, ha ha, but I could never be one of you", he said. "Why, we're the good guys", Daisy said. "Nuh, uh, Ashley said we were", Tyler said. "Ashley.. But she's the worst ginger there", Daisy said. "That's just how the bad guys see it", he said. Daisy stood, and scratched her head. "I wonder...", she muttered. Then she walked over to her desk, and grapped a black and green device, it kind of looked like a scanner from walmart. She walked over to Tyler, and raised the device, and pointed it at his head, and scanned. "Oh no", she said. "What", Tyler asked. "Im sorry", she said. Tyler sat there, scared of what she was going to say. "Im afraid you have a horrible disease", she said. "You have... Confusion", she said. "What", he asked. "Confusion", she replied. "Is this a joke", he asked. "Fraid not Tyler", she said. Tyler sat there, thinking. I already hate this place, he thought. Everyone here seems really stupid, or silly, I don't know which...
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Mike drove down the road. He needed a drive after all of this nonsense about everything. The radio was buzzing, so mike fixed the station, it went onto 42.9, and a man was talking. "Alright guys, this next song goes out to any confused people out there", he said. "Well that's odd", I said. "This song is called molested my kitten, sung by an unknown man...", he said. Then the song came on.

When you feel all down, depressed... Falling down every which way... You don't know what do dooo!!! SO YOUR MOLESTING YOUR KITTEN!! TAKE THAT KITTEN!!! DO YOU LIKE THAT KITTEN? I LOVE MOLESTING KITTENS!!!! yeeeaaah.... That cats been rude, trying to eat up all your food.. Yeah.. Well guess what your gonna DO!! Your gonna molest that kitten!!! Eve-ry day. No matter what the po-lice sayy, you gonnna molest that KITTEN aallll night, thats exactly what, your gonna do Mike. Molest that KITTEN........ molest.. Your.. Caaattt....
                   

After I listen to the song, I knew what I had to do... But what I was going to do was definitely not molest a kitten... Because thats weird....
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Meanwhile in the legion of doom...

"The man is smart", Ashley said. "We cannot trust him, for the prophecy may be true", Olivia said. They were in a large meeting room, with 5 other gingers sitting at a table. "So, whats the plan", a ginger asked. "Well jacob, thanks to Robert, we have a perfect plan", Ashley said, with a look of vengeance in her eyes. Oh, they're all going to learn, she thought. Every last one of them...