His Secret 2 (ZhanYi FanFic) - Completed

15: He Was Never Mine

Bodies remotely too close, Yibo's eartips turned scarlet as soon as he woke up and felt Zhan's slow breathing against his neck. Yibo was suddenly put into a spot where it was challenging to stop himself from caving in. So, he snuggled closer and let his smiling lips steal a lingering kiss over Zhan's forehead.

Magical! He could stay like this for hours and never get tired.

But, 'Not yet.'

After an accidental squiz through Zhan's to-do planner left at the top of the bedside table last night, Yibo was made aware that their situation remained inapt and iffy. This realisation goad the young man to spur some actions the soonest possible. His decisiveness was impeccable and there's no way he would remain idle. 'It must be done.'

In a flick, his countenance slipped into a stern face and he heaved himself away from his source of warmth. Zhan's phone was on his hand subsequently, scrolling through numbers until he found who he was looking for.

'This is Yibo. Can we meet?' He sent apace. And as soon as it was sent at five-thirty in the morning, Yibo got a response he was hoping for: a confirmation, a time, a place.

It seemed, there was another person besides him who was invested on waking up early and having some things done before a certain business matter will be put to an end. Whether she was waiting for Yibo's message or someone else's, Yibo couldn't be certain.

At six, without further interlude and dilly-dallying, Yibo was up and about with a basic wardrobe and a hoodie to protect him from early frost and nothing else.

He thought he was the earliest but as Yibo entered the café, the lovely lady he had not seen in years was already having her second cuppa at the furthest side of the shop. Yibo almost jogged in big strides towards her social space.

Lost for words, he only managed to call her name. "Yang Zi-jie." And the said lady lifted her Ruifeng eyes. They were surprisingly bereft of any anger or resentment but instead filled with peerless sentiment.

As she regarded him, Yibo was reminded of the angel he had seen in her at their very first meeting. The bubbly girl who was close to perfection. The future Mrs. Zhan Wei, the most suitable woman for his Zhan-ge. And she did become his', Mrs. Yang Zi Wei.

"Come. Sit. Don't stand there for too long, Didi. Warm yourself up with this nice green tea." Years did not changed her manners.

Yibo can't help but be mesmerised by her good nature and be guilt-sticken with the future she should've had with his Zhan-ge of which Yibo had put an end to.

"It's because of me. Wasn't it?" Yibo's directness brought Yang Zi to shame. She was doped for a while, face showing stun. Then a soft chuckle escaped her small lips. "You're too direct, Yibo." She held her cup and lowered her eyes, looking at her reflection on the opaque liquid. Her eyes still looked gloomy even if she tried hard to be otherwise.

Breathing out, "No, Yibo. It wasn't because of you.", she affirmed with tact and consideration, closing her eyes briefly to catch a hold of her feelings. "It was just unfortunately connected to you."

As she said those words, her thoughts drifted back to a young Wei Zhan who was hard working at his studies but not much on his social aspect. That moment in time, if he's not in class, Zhan would be at the library spending his time alone with endless books.

Maybe even back then, even at the very first glance, Yang Zi was already tranced.

Wei Zhan was like a star shining so brightly among them but none can reach. He was a shot in the sky. Totally unreacheable.

In contrast, Yang Zi was just one of the hundreds who admires him secretly.

She had watched him carry himself in a graceful yet conservative way each time. She can recall vividly how his gold rimmed glasses during their first year looked so perfect on his handsome face. The solemn look on his face as he listened to their Professors and the very rare chances he will smile at their Dad jokes. His smiles were always so charming! The way he arches his brow when he was reading books or the way his eyes squint when he was working on his sketches, Yang Zi saw them all.

But she fell in love with him when she accidentally heard him hum a tune when he thought noone was around. Yang Zi bravely took her chance, she came out of her hiding place and approached him. "That was a lovely tune. Whose song is it? It doesn't ring a bell in my memory?" She was so talkative all of a sudden.

And Zhan being nice and polite, beamed at the stranger with a gentle smile. A smile that will melt all hearts, bedazzling and angelic. "I made it...for my Didi."

Yang Zi's reverie ended with that and she blinked back at Yibo. 'His Didi...' Her mind reechoed and she couldn't help smiling at her own derision and illusion of being loved by that man. 'His Didi was first in his heart even before he met me.' She had accepted that now, not yet fully but she was in a hopeful process of getting there.

"I-I'm sorry Jie. If I hadn't been in an accident that year..." Yibo's words trailed off. He was indeed sorry but it didn't feel like apologising was enough. If not because of him, wouldn't Zhan and Yang Zi be a happy family now? With a kid or maybe two? There wouldn't be discussion for divorce, would it?

But can't Yibo be selfish too? He loves Zhan as much. But he was unsure if he can make him as happy as Yang Zi had made him. And he was a man! How could he make Zhan fall for him? Would his feelings ever be reciprocated or will it only remain in his dreams?

His shoulder slumped without his knowing and he did not notice he was clutching the tea cup too hard until Yang Zi's soft hand landed on his.

Yibo's eyes heed Yang Zi's reckoning ones and he saw exactly the hurt he had caused her in them. "He was never mine to begin with, Yibo." She explained as bitter tears stained her cheeks. "We were wrong about the feelings we thought were mutual. Your accident made us realise that, Yibo. So, it isn't your fault. Please do not apologise for that. I don't blame you neither do I blame Zhan."

Yang Zi was indeed gracious and selfless. And life, as it is most of the time, can be deviously unfair to such kindness.

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A/N:

4-Sept-2022