𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗹𝘆 𝗡𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗲

27- 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗙𝗼𝗿𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱, 𝗢𝗻𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸

"Hey, Ax" Elias spoke as Axel came rushing out of the room, clutching to Elias' legs with a huge grin on his face.

Axel didn't say anything back to him, which is what prompted him to look at the woman in front of him. It was his speech therapist, the one Natalia advised Elias to get.

If he couldn't be with her, he at least wanted to grant her wishes and give Axel the best life possible.

"How did he get on?" Elias asked, concern growing already as the woman's face dropped.

"He's far behind for his age, he should be able to say more by now-" The woman started but Elias cut her off.

"Can you help him? Because if you can't, I'll find someone who will" Elias told her, snapping more than he initially intended to.

"Of course, but it takes time. He won't be speaking fluent English after one lesson, speech is complex and it can't be rushed" The woman told him and Elias just nodded, looking down at the little boy still clinging to his legs.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped" Elias confessed and the woman just smiled.

"It's fine, honestly. It's a good thing, actually, it shows you're a passionate and fierce parent- not many people have that" The woman assured him and Elias felt oddly reassured.

Reassured that he was doing a good enough job as a father, one he hoped would be enough to fill Axel's empty void of having a mother. Of having Natalia with him.

Elias was still struggling to fill the same void himself.

"There's quite a few exercises you can practice with him until our next session, here" The woman told him, handing him a booklet.

"Thanks" Elias replied, about to walk away before her voice stopped him.

"His speech is not a reflection of your parenting ability. You're a good parent, some things you just can't control, sadly" The woman told him and this was the most reassured he had felt since Natalia.

But still, it was nothing close.

"It's hard, sometimes" Elias confessed, almost like he had just boiled over and the lid of his emotions came off.

"As soon as I feel like I'm going to break down, I realise I have to be better for him. I put him first all the time, but sometimes it destroys me inside. I lost my girlfriend and he lost his mother, I feel like his pain is more important than mine."

The woman put a reassuring hand on his arm, yet not in a flirty way- one that showed him someone was there for him.

"Don't feel the need to invalidate your feelings. You can look after him whilst also acknowledging how you feel, this way you'll be a better dad for him in the long run- because one day you'll give up and go into a dark phase of your life and you'll end up losing her too."

The woman realised what she had said, quickly recovering. "Losing him" She corrected herself and Elias looked at her, concerned.

"Are you okay?" Elias asked her and the woman shrugged.

"I'm fine, honestly- but if you ever need to talk to someone, I know a few therapists" The woman told him and Elias shook his head.

"No, I don't think therapists are a good idea for me. My last one wasn't exactly the best experience" Elias told her and she thought for a moment before speaking.

"Every therapist has a different style, I wouldn't shut the door on therapy after one bad experience" The woman told him, grabbing her notepad and writing down some numbers and names.