Finding My Second Swan

Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

NATHAN:
Some months later...
Every day's the same. I wake up and I get drunk. I wake up, I get drunk. Last night kinda went the same way. This morning though, I woke once again with a splitting headache. All the while desperately needing a piss. Not to mention a coffee fix. The only difference with this morning was when I turn my head to look at my alarm clock, I see it was only nine in the morning. Instantly, I turn back over to go back to sleep. Normally, I'll stay there. I'd purposely sleep in until at least two, maybe three o'clock. Sometimes later, it all just depends on how my head's feeling that day. However, my bladder tells me differently. So I end up flinging back my bed sheets from my body and reluctantly went to my bathroom.
After revealing myself, I grab a quick shower. After that, I head to my kitchen to make myself a coffee. Unfortunately, when I open the coffee pot, I discover it's an empty jar.

"Bastard! Shit! fuck!" I call out. Then in a fit of rage, I threw the jar across the room. Yeah, this bad mood shit is kinda taking over my life. I've lost count of how many times I've lost my shit, but I can't help it. I'm like a fucking walking Zombie Hulk right now. I can't seem to shift it either. Seriously, I'm just so fucking angry all the time. And now I'm once again cleaning broken glass. I've lost count of how many times I've done this shit. Sadly, I'm still in dire need of a coffee fix, so I head to V's place. She makes the best lattes. Oh boy, they're amazing compared to mine. I'm pretty shit at making them. I think they just taste so much better when other people make them. Maybe it's my mood that spoils them?

When I arrive at Vs place, I'm still in that mood. I don't even care that I've been driving like a loon. Or that I was mortal drunk last night. I don't care that I'm still feeling pissed now. Yes, I know it's bad, but I don't care. I'm still not caring when I barge my way in and stand at the counter. Yet when I'm greeted by the sound of a kid crying... Fucks shake! My head began to pound. Shut up, kid.
V's standing at the counter, looking at the kid. I'm guessing probably thinking the same as me but didn't say anything. Then I hear her sigh though. No, not V. No, it's somebody behind me. Then I hear a woman speak.

"Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. It's okay. It's just a big stupid overgrown man-ape, stomping around like a five-year-old. It's okay, baby. Shh, it's okay."

I turn to look at her after hearing her pissed-off tone. It's more so with what she called me. Yeah, I'm pissed off too, especially since she's calling me stupid fucking names. And her kids still fucking crying! Damn it! My poor head! As soon as I looked into her eyes though, I startle a little. Shit, I've never seen eyes not like that before. Well, I have on Leo and Linc. But her eyes... Christ, they're like a bright Jade-Green. They're the brightest of greens I've ever seen. I notice a dark green ring around them. I know we're not that close and I should be able to use it, but they're so bright I can see it all.
Holy fuck! Okay, look away, Nath. Get your coffee and get the fuck out of here. Christ, that kid's got some lungs on him. He sounds really snotty too. Like he's got a cold or something.

"Latte. Make it a strong one, please."
V nods and the second I pay for my drink, I grab it and storm out of there. That's because my head is about to explode. While I stomped away, I still don't give a shit. I'm still not giving a shit when I almost knock a woman over when I barge my way out. She snapped, "Watch where you're going!" Only I don't acknowledge her. I just carry on and make my way to Phoenix Ink.

Moments later, I open the door to the studio and as I step over the threshold, I'm greeted by my stepdad, Leo.
"Hey, Nath. How's y'all doing son?"
I don't even look at him, I just grunt "Hey." I know I shouldn't be a dick with him, but he knows where my head's at. It's just taking me a while to sort shit out. Yet, seeing him reminds me of that woman with the kid and the jade-green eyes. I have to shake my head, desperately needing her gone from my mind. I can't be thinking about her or any woman again! Not after her.
Anyway, after grunting out my feeble greeting, I sit down at my workstation. I come here now and again. Well, when I'm not at the bar, I come here. I've been into drawing for some time, it's just now I'm trying to perfect it. To be honest, I find it calms me a little. I know I'll never be the world's great artist. I guess it's just a little hobby I like to mess around with.

When I pull out my paper and pencils, I place them down on my desk and then drink my latte. Once it hits my stomach, I set to work on a new idea. It's been playing around in my head for some time now. It's Swan, sitting alone in the park. The reason being her. I'm always having thoughts of her. She's always in my head. Of course, it doesn't help that I go there now and again. You know, to the park. I know I shouldn't, but I don't know. I guess I like it, you know? It's calming to me. Not that it helps much. I'm still pretty angry, and it's all the fucking time. I need to shift this shit, but how?

Once I finished my picture, I walked out. I just left it there on my desk. Mars tried to talk to me, but I just waved her off, telling her "I've got to go." I've got nowhere to go. The only place I do go is the bar. I'm always at the bar, especially more now since I'm not working. It's pretty much what I've been doing every night. Yep, I get drunk and go home. Every night since her... since she left me.

***

UNKNOWN:
I'm currently sitting in a little café, waiting for my mother. She's supposed to meet here for a little catch-up and a coffee. While I rock my little boy back and forth in his pushchair, I'm shushing him, trying to settle him. Sadly for him and myself, he had a rough night with a cold. He's had it for the last few days now, so I know I've still a way to go before he's well again.
I'm a twenty-one-year-old mother, a struggling one. I mean, truly struggling to buy things for my baby. I struggle for medicines, ones to help him get better.
How did I get here? Well, it all started when I moved in with my new boyfriend. Now ex. Yeah, it was a pretty big deal. Well, it was to me anyway. I was only seventeen at the time; almost eighteen. Yet the craziest part about it was that my mother was okay with it happening. To be fair, she hasn't exactly been the greatest of parents. I mean, she did her best in keeping me off the streets. But most days I was on my own while she was off doing her own thing. She was out every weekend partying while I'd be out with my friends until lord knows what time in the morning. I'd be out, getting off my face on whatever we could get our hands on.

You're wondering where my dad was in all this? Well, I see him now and again when he shows his face. Sadly, it's mostly when he wants something. Mostly stuff like money. Or even a place to stay when his new wife kicks him out. I have my suspicions that he and my mother are still seeing each other. You know, "occasionally." I mean, who the fuck allows their ex to stay over? Yeah, it's strange shit. I know they're my parents, but it's too freaky even for me.
So, back to my ex. How did I end up moving in with him? I got pregnant. He was a little older than me, which meant; well, I thought he was more mature. Oh boy, I was wrong. Sadly, meeting him messed up my life a little. Sure, I was looking forward to being a mum, but after moving in, I found out who he truly was. An immature dick. He's four years older than me, and I was the mature one. I caught him watching the fucking Teletubbies! I mean, come the fuck on! Who does that? Apart from babies and kids, or people who actually have kids. As much as I loved him, I was seriously wondering why I did it to myself. I met him about a year before moving in with him. I was out in town with a few of my friends but ended up in McDonald's when he walked in with his friend. It was his friend I saw first and then he walked in after him. My God, I thought he was beautiful. His friend that is. Oh yeah, I thought Axel was beautiful. He was so gorgeous, with his dark hair and dark skin and amazing brown eyes. He looked like a greek god. Only, he didn't see or acknowledge me, but Matthew did. They call him Matty, I call him Matt-spew when he began pissing me off. Which was a lot back then. Never to his face of course. I wasn't that immature. We're about to become parents, and still, he'd go out and party like a teenager. He'd bring his friends around at his place, just about every night. This meant spending less time together. We didn't even go out. It was so bad, we hardly spoke to each other. That's when I began wondering; why the fuck was I even there?