The Boy With Wings

Chapter 6 ~ Decisions

November 30th, The beginning of my next Chapter. This Chapter being financial stability. I didn't sleep well though. I had a week and a half off but they were full of nightmares of me getting fired, coming to work naked, forgetting I was on a call and hanging up. Things like that. My subconscious was trying to explain how nervous I really was. Nineteen, working for a financial firm, having no clue what I want to do with my life. I just know I want to Travel the world, and it does help to know that I am indeed gay. Granted I have been making out with a bunch of random men. Oops. But I will be honest, so fun.
To know what one wants from life. What a powerful gift indeed. To know the possibilities of life, a curse or a gift, I do not know. My mind starts to flow with cryptic wisdom, I grab out some parchment, ink and a quil as I sit at my desk. Could I do this on a computer, yes, will I, no.
In my best cursive I began;
Fear is strong, but grit is stronger. I have a great fear of the unknown, and that is indeed all life is. We can make as many plans as we want but in the end the all mighty spirit will decide our fates.
I dip my quil and scrape the ink;
The great spirit calls those whom listen, to head their words. The spirit has many names and created many things. For we are his children. For some the great spirit is a him, for some a her, for many it is genderless and just a cosmic source of energy.
In each of lies a great cosmic force called Chi. This force allows us to connect with the elements around us. We may not be able to bend like the avatar, but we can bend the energies around us. My favorite quote from Uncle Eiro in The Avatar the Last Air Bender is: "It is important to draw Wisdom from many different places."
I see it this way, all things have a lesson, where you take it from is up to you.
Water: Strong, adaptable, balanced between life and death.
Earth: Powerful, firm, unmoving,
Fire: Persistence, unpredictability, and balance.
Air: agility, freedom, and flexibility.
Are there many more traits, of course, but for our sake we shall use these. Take from the elements and center yourself, find peace in that...
As I wrote the last word the fire of inspiration sputtered out. My mind began to fizzle and a headache came on. For years I have been unable to finish anything, the flames of creativity didn't last long enough. I am worried for myself, but my hopes is that selling everything and travelling the world will help to spark that flame again. I had twelve months to do everything I can to get ready.
The next six months moved by really fast as I did my research, worked and figured out everything step by step. The closer I got to traveling the world, the more excited I got. In December I would be buying my plane tickets. Every day, one step closer. A lot of people don't understand why this is so important to me. Including my family. For once I am going to accomplish something I said I would. Every Day, I dream of a better life, but every day I am stuck in the same old, same old. I have started to sell everything and getting ready to become a minimalist traveler. This was going to be hard, but I am so excited.
September 3rd, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I brushed my hair and teeth, washed my face, put on clean clothes and set up my computer for work. I struggled with my job but it was important so I could go travel the world. I had take ten calls until I got a frantic group message from my mother, "Have any of you heard from your father? He stopped sharing location." Now to most this doesn't sound like a big deal, but just a month prior my uncle had taken his life. We all start to frantically reach out, trying to get a hold of him, fearing the worst. Little did we know, we would come to with for the latter.
Finally after two hours we received a video from my father. He had said that he wasn't going home, and he blamed it on my mother. He had had a secret life for months and had stolen $12000 from my mothers Savings. He left my mom and two sisters to fall apart and fend for them selves. That is when I knew I had a choice to make. Go travel the world or Stay, protect my family, and basically be come a father.