The Boy With Wings

Chapter 16 ~ Rise and Shine

 After a long morning of being told how worried my family was. I went and took a nap as I was exhausted. For the rest of the day we texted back and forth. I was quickly starting to get feelings for Alex, and I wasn't sure how to feel about it.

On the one hand he is absolutely amazing, adventurous, gorgeous, and full of life. He also brings calmness to my soul. On the other hand I barely know him and it is to early for feelings. Alex texted asking me on a second date. And with a pounding chest I said yes.

For this date we stayed in. He brought McDonalds and we ate it on a blanket while we watched a movie in the movie theater in my basement. When the food was gone we cuddled up and watched the movie. Half way through we began kissing, innocently, except his hand was under my shirt scratching my back, and the other supporting my head. His lips were so warm and soft. I loved the feeling of him being so close to me. Who was this Alex? Why did I like him so much. While we kissed I suddenly had a vision...

I stood in a field alone. I could still feel Alex around me, I just couldn't see him. Before me were the Muses, the fates, my ancestors, Sandrianna, and others from my journey. Lastly I was standing before me. In perfect unison we beegan to dance, no words being said, but everything understood.

We moved ever so silently, step by step, sway by sway, turn by turn. Those surrounding us just watched. This was the test I have prepared for. The test to truly accept myself. The closer we got the brighter we became. With a final spin we grabbed each others hands and merged. What stood in our place was a phoenix, orange, gold, yellow, blue green, purple, and many other colors. With the flash I came back to reality...

In reality I was glowing. I couldn't tell if Alex noticed as we just continued to kiss. I had giant wings of light spread behind me. I felt a warmth I hadn't felt in a very long time. I knew my Journey wasn't over but it was nice to know I have come this far. I put my hand on his butt, "Hahah you have a nice butt."

"Thank you." He grinned at me pulling away. He took his massive arms and bundled me in them. He kissed my forehead and rubbed his nose against mine.

"I think I like you Romeo Winters."

"I think I like you too, Alexander Skylark" I smiled a huge grin, then got serious, "But..."

"But?"

"But I am not ready for a relationship yet. I have some growth to go through first. You are welcome to join me if you would like. But I need to find my inner peace. I need to learn to love myself. I need to keep working towards getting out of my head. But as I said, I would love the company."

"I would be honored to grow with you. I am willing to wait for you."

"You really are gorgeous." I kiss him again and we just cuddle for hours. He holds me close as I just feel my feelings and for the first time in a long time. Feel peace.

My final Journal entry in this journal. I don't know where I am going in life, I don't know what will make me happy, But what I do know is that I deserve love, I deserve happiness, I deserve to be saved. I have been through much in my life and I have much more to go through. But I promise to myself I will no longer live in regret and sadness. I am going to focus on finding my inner peace. Finding the strength to continue on. I am worth every moment. I am worth every tear. I will no longer let my brain, fear, and shame rule my life. I am who I am, I was who I was, and I will be who I will be. Time is continually shifting, people come and go, memories eb and flow, and we will never be the same.

To this I hope who ever reads this journal finds solace knowing you aren't alone. You are beautiful, and you are strong. You are loved no matter what others say. Just as I have traveled far, so have you. Just as I have a long way to go, so do you. You deserve more than you believe you do. So in closing I wish for you to remember these words...

Rise and Shine.

The End