Memories of Home

𝔳𝔦𝔦𝔦. 𝔟𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨

ACT II:

She felt like she was under water. Down, down deep in the ocean...looking up at the hazy way the light tried to reach her through the surface. But she was in so deep that it barely reached her. And she barely cared.

She was in between so many emotions that nothing made sense, and everything seemed upside down and backwards.

MJ groaned as she twisted deeper into her bed, covering her head with her arms, and attempting to curl into a ball that was just as small as the way she felt right now. It was where she had been hiding for the last 3 days now....

But ...the last few days it also felt like she was just moving through water. In slow motion, and with a lot of effort.

The one other time she had bothered to socialize with anyone, she had seen Ned and Harry briefly, meeting up with them for their movie night. Ned had spoken up asking if she was okay, while Harry just flat out told her she looked like shit.

But she didn't have that many words to give them. What would she tell them? How would that conversation go?

"Hey - you know that guy Spiderman? Yeah that's the one - the crazy masked man swinging through the streets lately! Well I think he's been following me for a while - so I did the only thing that made sense!! I made out with him!"

She scoffed. No...she told them she just hadn't been sleeping again instead. Ned said he had read some article on the best things to do to help yourself relax that he could send to her...while MJ knew that the last thing that was going to help her relax was a self help article,  she smiled and thanked him anyway. She knew Ned was always trying to look out.

Harry just watched her carefully, saying nothing. She pretended to not notice the concern in his usually arrogant eyes, or the way every so often his eyes would flick over in her direction. She stayed focused on the screen instead, for the rest of the movie.

She didn't know why she was surprised. Such was her life. The minute someone got close, they were fated to disappear eventually....and she was right back to where she started things. Alone.

No matter where she went, or where she looked...he had kept his promise. MJ had seen no sign of Spider Man anywhere.

It had probably been stupid to tell him so much...

MJ chastised herself, getting angry every time she rewinded the nights events, the things she said. Whatever she had been given, she had no doubt that it loosed up secrets she didn't even know that she had been harboring.

But...that still didn't change the fact that she was so drawn to him. Flashes of his hands on her, and the way she wanted him...needed him. What had she been thinking?

Clearly she hadn't been. Instead of being careful with a masked stranger, she sprinted towards the possibility of being reckless with him. No one else had made her feel that way before.

Maybe no one ever would again.

She sighed, turning over and staring up at the ceiling with vacant eyes. She was back to the no sleep train. When she did sleep now ....her dreams had gotten even worse. She kept seeing the scene that had flashed back to her while they had kissed...and it infuriated her to remember every detail, except the one she needed the most. Who was he? And why did he haunt her dreams? All she saw was flashes of a smile that belonged to nothing, and yet she held on to it.

Tears slipped slowly down her face. She was so tired of feeling this way.

Suddenly, her phone buzzed snapping her out of her melancholy. Whoever it was she didn't feel like talking to anyone. She glanced at the clock - 11pm. Who would be calling her now?

Turning it over, she rolled her eyes. Of course it was Harry.

"Yes?" She muttered flatly into the phone.

"Hello sunshine! I figured since you said you weren't sleeping I'd call you and see if you needed a distraction. Since you're not sleeping, and I'm not sleeping how about we...not sleep together?"

Where she may have mustered a laugh before at his innuendo, MJ only stayed silent. She knew he was trying to help, but she didn't know how to to tell him that no one could help her.

He heard her deep breath on the other side of the phone, and sighed. He could tell he was going to need to soften the approach.

"Hey...I'm not going to pretend to know what's been bothering you lately, but I know it's not just lack of sleep. I hate seeing you like this. Just know I'm here if you need me..."

Another tear slipped.

"MJ?" He tried again.

"I'm here." She croaked.

"It's going to be okay, you know that right?"

She curled into herself tighter.

"Yeah. I know. Thanks Harry."

She hung up on him, and took a few slow and deep breaths.

Maybe SpiderMan didn't care about her enough to tell her the truth, but at least Harry did. Whether it was to tell her she looked like shit, or remind her that she was stronger than she thought.

Maybe she wasn't as broken as she thought she was. Maybe she did just need a distraction. Maybe that distraction had been in front of her the whole time.

She picked the phone back up and hit redial.

"Harry? Yeah it's me. What kind of distraction did you have in mind?"