Pariah ✔

14 - A Secret

★ ★ ★

It was wonderful to be able to see her again every day. They were still reconnecting, but Gilly had suggested that she could use the spare bedroom. She was staying there for a week now. Although it was nice to be able to talk to her again, there was a shadow in her eyes. It was a shadow Gilly knew; it had been there after her parents died, too. Yet then, sometimes, life shimmered through. And now... Sometimes he caught a glimpse of an emptiness that made him shiver. He wondered when she'd laughed for the last time. Probably before Esai died.

Often, it took him an inhuman effort to hold back. Then he wanted to put his arms around her, pull her close and promise her that from now on, he would protect her from whatever horror came her way.

He couldn't do that, not anymore.

They weren't children anymore. The close bond that had existed between them had been damaged over the passing years. Years in which she had been all alone. She may not have spoken it out loud, but he could sense that she resented him for being a Mayan–the eternal symbol of her pain. Friends, family–both had repeatedly betrayed her trust. He thought it would be a long time before she really dared to let him back in.

Nevertheless, he did his best. Though it was hard to keep to himself that she had returned to her birthplace, he told no one–as she wished. Not even Angel. Nor her brother. The latter was clean for a few years now and had rejoined the club. He doubted she would be happy with that decision.

Only his mother knew about her; sometimes she came by and one day she'd found Alesia. The young woman knew, however, that she had nothing to fear from her; his mother knew very well how to keep her mouth shut. She came by more often than before, which Gilly liked. That way, Alesia had some company on the days when Gilly came home late.

Very slowly, he saw the light return to her eyes. Now and then she would show a small smile. Sometimes she would tell things about the past years or ask about his life. When she asked if there had been love in his life, he lowered his gaze. To his annoyance, his glowing cheeks gave away the answer.

"She loved someone else," he said softly. "She always will."

Alesia grabbed his hand across the table and gave it a squeeze. "I'm sorry to hear about that, Gil. You deserve a sweet woman."

He stared at her hand on his, and felt the skin burn under her touch. As inappropriate as it was–he longed for more. He wanted to come home and be able to call her his, he wanted to hold her in his arms when they went to bed at night.

Maybe it would come, with time.

Gilly would wait–forever if he had to.

★ ★ ★

Nervously, Gilly entered the rebel camp. Although Angel had been his best friend for so long that he would support him in anything, he found it hard to do anything behind the back of the rest of the club. These were people who weren't rebelling against them. He understood their motivations. And yet... Bishop wouldn't be happy if he knew they were here. Neither would El Padrino. And knowing that the man hadn't even turned a blind eye to his own son... Gilly gulped. Silently he stepped forward with Coco and Angel, intending to let them do the talking. He wasn't the extroverted type anyway. No one expected him to say much.

Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at the tents, at the skinny, ragged children. His thoughts shot to Alesia. She too had been homeless–first, she had to live with her grandmother after a cartel tore her family apart, then she'd wanted to start a new life with Esai. That dream too had been torn to pieces by a gang. She would easily fit in here, along with her little daughter.

In front of them, he saw a tent that was larger than the others. Just before they entered it, he saw a familiar face out of the corner of his eye. Dazed, he turned to the side. No, it can't be, can it? His gaze scanned the man.

It was really him, he had never seen those bright blue eyes in another tan face.

It was El Padrino's son.

Esai.

The man was clearly not prepared for their arrival, for he stumbled backward with wide eyes. He had to live here in secret. How had he escaped death? Did El Padrino know this?

The questions continued to haunt his mind. Esai, however, had already disappeared among the tents.

He glanced at his two brothers who had already entered the tent.

Gilly was probably the only one who knew this.

Esai was not dead.

And his widow and child were only a few miles away, not suspecting anything.