Pariah ✔

4 - Different

★ ★ ★

Esai couldn't remember there had ever been a girl in whose presence he'd felt uncomfortable, but it took him a lot of effort not to avoid her fiery glance. He knew better than saying something negative about the club, even when she was telling the truth. He however neither wanted to stand up for them; he had no idea what exactly the club was doing. It however was common knowledge that junks lost their patch, and he assumed they had tried to help her brother. But he wasn't sure. His father had taken him to the Santo Padre clubhouse a few times, but apart from his uncle he barely knew the members.

"Where's your brother now?" he asked quietly instead of focusing on the club. "Is he also..."

He trailed off, staring at the hand he was still holding. He liked it, he realized. Very lightly he brushed her skin with his thumb. 

"I don't know," she muttered. "He didn't show up at their funeral. Maybe he's also dead. That same night he fled and left me behind."

Esai couldn't imagine how it would feel to be so worried about a family member. He lacked siblings. Pulling his right hand away from hers, he wrapped an arm around her back and took her hand with his other hand. As she tensed a bit he regretted it, but it didn't take long before she relaxed and even scooted a little closer to him. 

For a long time she was silent and just leaned against him. Then she suddenly said: "It was a cartel. Neron owed them money, and they came for it. And when there was nothing he could hand them..."

He looked aside, hearing how fast her breathing went. "You don't have to tell me," he said quietly. "You don't have to tell me what happened if you're not ready to talk about it."

Without an explanation he could picture very vividly what had happened. They had probably burnt her parents alive or chopped them into pieces. Why her eye was cut out, was no longer a mystery either. Probably to pressure her brother.

"Maybe that's why we keep an eye on you," he said. "You think they'll come after you?"

"You really think they would leave it to you to protect me from a cartel?" she huffed. 

Esai felt his cheeks flush. "I guess not," he admitted. Comparing himself to a member... he had no idea where he got the nerve. He looked aside. 

She was staring forward, deep in thoughts. Without the mutilation she must have been very beautiful... She looked fragile, but not broken. The fire of life was burning fiercely inside her. It took an insane amount of strength to sit here like she did, so soon after the loss of her family. 

"If they'd wanted me dead, I would have been dead," she said. "Letting someone watch the slaughtering of her parents... They believe some things are worse than death."

Her words caused a lump in his throat. "You think you'd be better off death?" he asked quietly. 

He held his breath, realizing he might cross a boundary now. The question had slipped his lips before he knew it, and he had forgotten about the fact they'd just met.

"Making sure this isn't going to control my life feels like vengeance," she answered. "That's what I hold on to."

He believed she was courageous. She was a very special girl, one he really wanted to protect. Also when his father hadn't ordered him to keep an eye on her.

"I don't know if you believe me," he started, hesitating. "But if my dad hadn't ordered me to keep an eye on you, I would have done nothing different."

She gave him a tiny smile when she looked up to him from below her eyelashes. "I believe you."

It was a whisper, but somehow it sounded very seductive and he felt the hairs in his neck rise. He smiled back, a slight blush on his cheeks.