Pariah ✔

7 - Tears

★ ★ ★

At first, Alesia could only stare. The air in the room felt thick, as if hundreds of people were smoking cigarettes. A sudden heat hassled her, making her feel dizzy. Black spots danced before her eyes, gaining more and more ground. 

"Did you really think you would get away with this?"

The ropes burnt around Alesia's wrists, her hands had been tied behind her back. Her parents were sitting to her left, her brother on the other side of the room. A woman with terrifying green eyes was pushing a gun inside his mouth. 

A sob escaped her lips. Never before she had been so afraid. She couldn't think anymore. Voices were speaking, but she lacked the willpower to listen to them. Instead, she squeezed her eyes and started to mutter prayers. 

Someone yanked back her head, tugging at her hair. She had no idea if she was screaming. There however was a deep voice wrestling itself through her sedated brain. 

"I am the only god who's powerful enough to help you. You should beg me for mercy, whore."

And so, Alesia did. With quivering lips she started pleading for her life, promising things she didn't even hear herself. 

Laughter was all she got in return. 

A horrible pain spread through her face; the skin close to her eye was cut. By reflex she tried to turn her head away, which only worsened the pain. Painfully slow, the blade cut through her flesh, through muscle, through her eye. Around her, a storm of crying and screaming arose, but the knife continued on its path of destruction . 

"Baby?"

A worried voice pulled her out of the gruesome memory. Only now, she realized how wet her cheeks were. Esai turned her around. She couldn't even see his face through the blur of tears, but she pressed herself against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. 

"What's goin' on? Who's that guy?"

She sobbed. "I – I don't want to see him."

Why had Angel not listened to Gilly? What the hell had gotten into him, that he was ruining this day for her? She clung to her boyfriend. The images the memory had called up, were circling around her head. Her legs were shaking, her whole body felt heavy as lead. She could collapse any moment. 

"I – I need to get outta here. Please," she whispered. 

He probably sensed that she was close to fainting, for he lifted her up and carried her to the rooms on the other side of the clubhouse. She buried her face against his shoulder. She felt humiliated because she couldn't even walk anymore. 

She shivered when Esai lowered her on a bed, laid down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. 

"Is he your brother?" he asked quietly. 

Sniffling, she nodded. 

"You don't have to face him. You don't have to see him if you don't want to, sweetheart."

She squeezed her eye and sobbed quietly. Suddenly she missed her parents so terribly it felt like someone was slamming knifes into her body. Her stomach and chest cramped and she tried to curl up into a ball, which was hard since Esai was lying beside her. She felt ice cold – she couldn't even feel Esai's warmth. Panic flared up. She already lost half of her sight – were her other senses failing too now? Was she still in the clutches of the evil that had torn her family apart? Her upper body started to jolt again, she begun to cry harder. For months, not a single tear had slipped her eyes. Now she couldn't stop them.

★ ★ ★

Creeper blinked away the tears when he saw his little sister panic. It felt like he had swallowed a stone. He never should have come to this place. It had been selfish. For months he was fighting a depression – and most times he lost. While she had friends who supported her, and even a boyfriend and his family, he had no one. He lived on the streets and was disgusted with himself whenever he found a syringe of heroin in a weak moment. With what felt like an inhumane effort, he had stayed clean for three weeks now; seeing his sister again had been his motivation. He had lost his parents, his club, his friends. And apparently, also his little sister. What was there still to live for? He had asked himself that question many times. More than once he'd wished he'd died too that day – where after he had been even more disgusted with himself. He was a coward. He wanted to become a better person, but he didn't know how. Somehow he hoped she'd missed him too, that they could bear their pain together. He should have known the outcome. She blamed him for the dead of their parents and Creeper didn't have the heart to tell her their parents had brought it on themselves. He wanted her to remember them with love, if not, he was afraid not much would remain of the old Alesia.

"You shouldn't have come here." Gilly looked up to him. 

Creeper heaved a sigh. He didn't know what to answer – after all, the boy was right. "I just wanted to know how she was," he said defeated. 

The boy shook his head. "You could have asked us."

Creeper bit the inside of his cheek. Admitting that he was the one needing his little sister was anything but easy. 

"Leave him, Gil." Angel showed up next to his friend. "They only have each other. Someday, Alesia will realize that too."

"She has us," the boy answered firmly. "She doesn't need him."

Without adding another word, he turned around and rushed to the bar.

With a sad look on his face, Creeper watched him leave. Still so protective. For a long time, Creeper suspected Gilly to have feelings for his little sister, and he wondered how the boy would feel now Alesia had apparently hooked up with the Mayan prince. He couldn't blame him for his current mood. 

Angel walked past him, nodding towards the exit. Creeper turned around, took a smoke from the younger man and sat down on a wall. 

"I will talk to her," Angel said. "She just needs some time to handle the shock."

Creeper inhaled deeply, shaking his head. "No," he said softly. "She's happier without me."

"She needs her family. What's left of it."

"She has you. Gilly. The whole Mayan family."

"It's not the same," Angel answered stubbornly. 

"Give her my number," Creeper told him. "If she feels up to it one day, she can always call me."

Angel huffed. "We both know she ain't gonna do that."

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's my only hope."

For he wouldn't force himself into her life again. 

★ ★ ★