My Muse

Akwardness

Hello!! I've decided that from now on, at the end of a chapter, someone's going to speak and it'll be in bold letters! Okay? Okay. (The Fault In Our Stars reference!!)

Oh! And be cautioned that there is some feels in here, so grab a tissue box if you're an easy cryer!!

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"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty. Time to get to work." I heard a British accent call, I opened my eyes to see Newt bent down, significantly close to my face. I turned scarlet red, as so did he. He stood as I started getting my clothes, I pointed towards the door and he walked out, started getting dressed and went out the door.

"Okay, what job am I going to do?" I asked Newt while we were walking to breakfast.

"Well, I suggest you start from easiest to hardest. Then after, you can choose which one you want to do permanently."

"Okay, so which job's the easiest?"

"I would say... Track-Hoes, it's pretty tiring but at least it's not like Runners." I nodded and continued walking.

When we finished eating breakfast, well more like me talking to Chuck while Newt ate silently for some reason while Minho and Thomas were laughing their shucking asses off about something. Newt took me to where the Track-hoes work and I started picking weeds like I was instructed. It was pretty akward between me and Newt, with what happened and all. How can he pretend like nothing happened? Doesn't he like me?

"What?!" I exclaimed, quickly covering my mouth but removing my hands when I tasted dirt and tried removing the awful taste from my mouth.

"Are you okay?" I turned around to see Thomas standing there, I quickly flushed red with embarressment.

"Yeah, just... thinking." I muttered, going back to weed pulling. It was akward silence again, and I didn't like it, so I decided to apologize. "Hey, Thomas?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm... sorry. F-For making you kiss me."

"Don't be." He simply said, I looked at him with shock.

"Why? Don't you feel disgusted about kissing me?" He looked at me with confusion before he stopped weed pulling and walked towards me.

"No, you're beautiful. But can I tell you a secret?"

"What?"

"I decided to kiss you." He whispered into my ear, I gasped at him.

"B-But you couldn't control yourself."

"Actually, for that second I could."

"You're lying."

"Okay, then let me prove it." I was about to question him, but his strong arms grabbed my waist and his lips crashed into mine before I could process what was happening. He parted ways, smirking, and looking into my eyes. "Was it something like that?" He asked, the kiss making me nervous and scared.

"It was... exactly like it." I answered, astonished at how he decided to kiss me!! "Thomas?"

"Yeah?"

"Everyone's looking." I whispered. He let me go and found that the Glader's were staring at us, some shocked or mad. We both turned mad red before everyone went back to work again. I looked over at something that was in the corner of my eye, my heart dropped when I saw him running away. He saw it--

Newt saw Thomas kiss me.

I turned to Thomas. "I have to go somewhere real quick." I lied, I felt bad about doing it when I saw his worried face, but I had to. I started walking away until Thomas wasn't looking anymore, that's when I started running towards the direction I saw Newt go in.

"Newt?" I called, going into his 'room' I saw him on his bed.

"Go away." He said, but I just stood at the foot of his bed.

"Look, Newt, I'm sorry. I really am, but-" i got cut off by Newt standing up and marching towards me.

"You're sorry?! That's all you can say?!" He practically shouted in my face. "After what happened last night, you go and kiss Thomas- again! And all you have to say for it is 'I'm sorry'?!" I started getting mad at him, is he seriously saying this to me?

"Well sorry if you say that one night, and then the next day, you act as if nothing happened! If you really liked me, you would've done something about it!!" I yell back, both of our eyes were full of anger.

"Like what?! What do you want me to do?!"

"Ask me to be your girlfriend! Or the least you could do is kiss me, goddammit! Stop acting so tough, or proud, or scared, or however you're acting!! Just tell me... how you feel." I started calming down, muttering the last part. Newt's eyes softened, his tense body relaxed, as so did mine. I could feel my eyes start to water, I looked at the ground away from his eyes. I felt a finger lift my chin to look at Newt, right in his eyes.

"I-I love you... more than ever. I would do anything for you. Honestly, I don't even know why you would like somebody like me, but, since you do, I want to keep you. I don't want Thomas to love you, because if-if he does... you might realize that I'm nothing but a worthless guy." He finished, tears flowed down my cheeks as he inched closer.

"Wait! Newt, I-I'm sorry, but... I think I need a break from all this drama. Well, a break from guys. B-But we could still be friends, right?" I felt horrible, all this drama-- I caused it. I'm playing with Newt's and Thomas' emotions like some... manipulator! I'm just a horrible person. His devestated face will never leave my mind, I made it happen. He nodded slowly before turning to his bed. I said a sentence that's been way over-used, but I didn't know what else to say, what exactly could I say?

"I'm really sorry, really."