My Muse

Instincts

I walked through the forest, thinking, wondering. What if I never came here? Why did I come here? Why does this have to happen to me? What did I ever do?

What's so special about me?

So, I did the only thing I could think of-- I sang.

There's a little boy waitin' at
the counter of the
corner shop
He's been waitin' down
there
Waiting half the day
We never ever see him
from the top
He gets pushed around
Knocked to the ground
But he gets to his feet
and he says...

What about me
It isn't fair
I've had enough now
I want my share
Can't you see
I wanna live
But you just take more
then you give

There's a pretty girl standing
at the counter of the corner
shop

She's been waitin' back
there
Waitin' for her dreams
Her dreams walk in
and I begged 'em to stop
Well she's not too proud
To cry out loud
She runs to the street
and she screams:

What about me
It isn't fair
I've had enough now
I want my share
Can't you see
I wanna live
But you just take more
then you give

I kept singing those verses over and over again, until I heard leaves and branches rustling behind me, I froze, slowly turning around. Nothing. I kept walking, until I heard a raspy voice. "You shouldn't be out here alone." I spun around to see Ben, one of the Gladers, standing there.

"Then... what are you doing out here alone?" I nervously asked from the crazed look in his eyes.

"I can protect myself, but you can't."

"Um... C-Can't protect my-myself from w-what, exactly?" I stuttered as he stalked closer towards me and started circling me like I'm his prey for tonight's dinner. He smirked as he came up to me and whispered in my ear a word that'll haunt my dreams.

"Me." I broke into a sprint as I heard his heavy feet hot on my tracks. All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain above my ankle and fell down, rolling and stumbling in the dirt. A scream escaped my lips as Ben slowly walked towards me, I looked at the knife in my left leg and thought of a plan. It's going to hurt like hell, but if it'll save my life, I'm doing it. I put my hand in the handle if the knife and pulled it out, followed by a cry of pain. I shuffled to my feet then started jogging as best as I could with a wounded leg. I looked back and couldn't see a sign of Ben, so I walked to a tree and climbed all the way to the top. When at the top, I grabbed sticks and leaves, wrapped a leaf around my injury, put the sticks on my leg as a crutch-kind-of-thing and wrapped the leaves around the sticks to keep them in place. I nodded as I observed my work. Good enough to get back to the Glade and find help. I thought, climbing down the tree with the knife tightly in my grip, jogging and looking out for Ben. I saw it, an opening to the Glade, but I couldn't get to it because a person tackled me to the ground. Groaning, I opened my eyes to see Ben, his eyes filled with anger or pure hatred, he was pinning me down, the knife feet away from my reach.

"Trying to run away, I see." He smirked.

"What would give you that idea? I absolutly love playing tag and hide-and-seek with you." I sarcastically replied, his teeth clenched together as he stared down at me.

"I wouldn't be talking like that to someone who can kill you in a second." I yelled off of the top of my lungs, that my third scream, the Gladers should be coming by now. Or I'll have to actually fight him.

"What do you want from me?!" I shouted at him.

"You!! It's all your fault! You put us here!! You're controlling all of us and then you're going to destroy us!! It's all your fault!!" I looked at him with a confused and angry look.

"That's enough." I said, kneeing him in the stomach, he let go of my wrists long enough for me to push him off of me and crawl towards the knife. I was inches away until I felt a strong hand in my right foot and I got yanked back, I looked at my feet to see Ben on the ground but pulling me towards him. I started getting really angry at him, so I kicked his face causing him to shout in pain and let go to cradle his probably broken nose and busted lip. I shuffled to my feet and ran to the knife, picking it up I pointed it at Ben who was starting to stand up and looked at me insanely. Blood oozed out of his cut lip, his nose was bent at an inhumanly angle, his smirk only made him look more crazy besides from the fire inside of his eyes and the gleam that gave off a you-don't-have-the-guts look.

"Go ahead. Do it. If your going to destroy all of us, why not start with me?" That did it, those words made me rethink my whole existence. If I do it, then I'll become the killer he wants me to be.

But if you don't, he'll kill you.

What's so wrong with that? Everyone's better off without me.

Chuck's not, remember what he said to you? He finally found his big sister, and you said-

I'll never let him go.

Exactly, so do it. He's already broken one of the rules, the most important one: Never harm another Glader. So he should be killed.

Yeah but he doesn't know what he's doing, I can see it in his eyes.

No. Kill him. Do it now. NOW!! YOU HAVE TO DO IT NOW!!! I looked at him, then at the knife, throwing it aside. I looked at Ben, his smirk said that I lost, until in a flash he ran to the knife and was running towards me. My eyes widened, my instincts took over, I jumped to the side, rolling forward and landing on my feet. When did I learn how to fight? My mind finally asked, but it was a question I couldn't answer. I felt a stinging pain on my cheek, I put my hand up to it and felt a cold substance coming out of a large gash in my cheek. I stood up and looked at Ben. He charged at me once more, but I dodged out of the way and grabbed him, flinging him to a tree. The knife fell out of his hands, I walked towards it, but my steps got slower every second, and my eyes got heavier. The next thing I knew, I collapsed to the ground, black dots clouding my vision. Isn't anybody looking for me? Is anybody going to find me? Why is life so unfair? What's going to happen to Chuck when I'm gone? I felt myself being picked up, I weakly lifted my head to see... Minho? What was he doing here? "M-Minho. T-Tell Newt I-I-I'm sorry... And T-Thomas too."

"It'll be okay, you're going to live, I won't let you die." He stated, determined.

"Tha-Thanks. But... tell C-Chuck I-I love him." I stuttered and coughed before I couldn't see anything. I could still hear the leaves crunching beneath Minho's feet, feel the breeze in my hair as he carried me, feel his raspy breath as he ran, but I guess Minho thought I had fainted because I heard something, something I would never suspect him to say.

"Don't leave. Hang in there, Cat, for your best friend."