Maybe it's better this way (Tommyinnit angst) COMPLETE

chapter 6- Toms attempt and Wils relapse

Tws:
Self harm/suicide attempt (GRAPHIC AND GROSS)

Wil's pov:

After Tommy stormed off, I felt terrible, was bragging earlier about how long I'd been clean? Fuck, I have felt like shit recently, should I do it? No, I don't need to, I feel like I do though. I have to stay clean for Tommy, I mean he doesn't need to know, no, no, I can't but what if I did... maybe just a few small ones... No Wilbur don't you fucking dare, years in less than a week it will be 6, it's almost 6 years, don't do it, but what does it matter if I do a few on my thigh? STOP THINKING YOU IDIOT NO! I have to stay clean for Tommy, at least for now.

I walked to my room and flopped onto my bed and fell asleep

It's been 3 days since the story started and now I'm gonna do a time skip to 3 days after wils almost relapse so the day before Tommy's attempt

Tommy's pov:

I've been in my room not eating or drinking much since the whole freak out with Wil God I've been so depressed these past few days I should just kill myself, I can make a plan at least, I'll stream today and tell everyone I won't be online for a while.

I started stream I was in a hoodie to hide my cuts and after I knew that the notification was sent out and people started flooding into my stream

"Hello everyone I'm not going to stream for a while so this is gonna be my last stream before it, I've bit of personal stuff going on right now and I'm truly sorry about that, that is gonna wrap up that and I'm going to play some minecraft for a bit"

A few hors later I said goodbye to the viewers, and ended stream,I tweeted about how I wasn't gonna be online or streaming for a while

I grabbed a pen and pad, I wrote a long letter to wil and hoped he would understand because he had been in my shoes before. I the fell asleep, my plan was to slit my wrists and bleed out, which if that didn't work I'd try to od

The next day, Tommy's attempt

As soon as I woke up I texted Wil and said that I wasn't gonna stream for a while because of my mental health and he texted back immediately and said that it was fine so I'd I regretted trying to kill myself wil would be able to help I left the door to my room unlocked I grabbed my best blade and pressed it slightly on my skin before taking it off and reading the letter to Wil to make sure it was good then pressed the blade against my skin again

I made sure to go vertically and I pushed hard enough to hit fat. I then did the same thing on the right arm, it was from about an inch away from my palm to 3ish inches away from my inner elbow witch left a solid 4 or 5 inch gash on both of my wrists

Instant regret but it was ok wil probably wouldn't care that much I still yelled for him "WIL PLEASE HELP IM SSO SORRY, HELP ME, HELP!!!" he ran into my room and saw my arms, "tom... no..." he grabbed me and brought me to the living room and stitched my right arm first and I felt weak and closed my eyes for what I hoped to be the last time... I knew it wouldn't be though because I still felt everything and was still breathing an after wil had finished stitching my arm I cried into his chest

"I wrote a note for you it's in my room..." I said sitting up after I opened my eyes and then moving off of Wilbur.

He ran to my room and grabbed the note.

Wilburs Pov:

I ran into Tommy's room and grabbed the note on his bed that said to wil. I then walked back downstairs sat on the couch and opened the note knowing that it was his suicide letter. I opened it and began to read

Dear Wil,

I am so so very sorry that I have done this and decided to leave this world behind, if my attempt works, I hope I don't pain you I'm that I have done and that you can find foriveness in your heart and that you don't blame yourself for my death and of you find me after I have died just remember you are my best friend and brother and that I will always love you no matter what happens to you, I would like to be cremated and my ashes given to the following people, You, Tubbo, Phil, Jack, Niki, George, Ranboo, and Dream. If my attempt failed, make sure to keep me away from drugs that can cause an overdose because if this attempt doesn't work I wanted to try to overdose but I am truly sorry you had to deal with me after my suicide attempt because I love you very much and you mean the world and moon to me and I am so very lucky to have you in my life and that you care about me and that is all I have to say- love Tommy

I started to cry after I finished reading it and Tommy's face was blank and empty staring at the floor

"I'm sorry" he said still staring at the floor, I ran to him and hugged him as hard as I could

"Tom listen to me very close, I love you so much and all I want is you to get better and not feel like you should have to resort in killing yourself" I responded to him, I loved him like a little brother and wished the best for him and that he would get better

I gave Tom some toast and water and sent him to bed,once he was asleep I ran to the bathroom we shared, I closed and locked the door and searched through the drawers for a shaving razor. I fumbled with it and finally managed to get it open I sat in the toilet and pressed the razor to my arm and made a cut, each cut small and not very deep, then I pressed a little harder and the cut became white I did a few more like that and I did more smaller cuts and more slightly deeper than those and I finally felt good enough and finished after my whole arm was covered from my wrist to my shoulder, I fucked up, there goes 6 years down the drain, it was alright because he felt truly alive

1141 words
Longest chapter so far and also the most depressing one, but it's alright, so I hope everyone reading has an amazing morning afternoon or nightmare sure to drink some water and eat something, I love you all, remember you are loved and appreciated