Ranticism

Eldest Daughter

Eldest Daughter

The one who was first to see the world, the one who received the most love and the one who has everyone dote on her. But also the experimental pancake, the third parent (if there are siblings), and the one who has to adjust the most just to satisfy the burden placed on them by their parents: whether in academic achievements, whether in emotional maturity or even the future planned out for them. Being the eldest daughter may sound so easy and so fun... but really, it was so hard.

In painting the world in the perspective of the eldest daughter, yes... having everyone love you and only you was, very satisfying and happy and joyful and full of bliss. Every single command was heeded, every single want was satisfied and it was so good— feeling like a princess, or a queen, or heck, even an empress. Then there was the desire to have a sibling— maybe because of the envy from others who have siblings, because of the cute faces of the babies— but the end was wanting a sibling. Then the sibling came.

The sibling part was, okay. There are times that jealousy comes that you want the attention back but suichfeeling is being overwhelmed by wanting to give all your love to that bundle of joy— and pain. Hahaha.

But the focus of this is that, we dive down to the experiences and the things that the eldest daughter must face and do. In order to be the 'eldest daughter'.

One of them was being the experimental pancake. When being the experimental pancake, the eldest daughter was the one who has to be the beta- tester when it comes to the parents and their navigation of the parenting life. Which type of parenting was better? What kind of attention was to be given at this moment? What went wrong? How to take care of a child? How to be a better parent? Such questions are being answered as they take care of the eldest daughter. Aside from all this, being the experimental pancake also involves the need to satisfy the burden they placed on you: to which they will decide that if the burden was not satisfied, then they failed in parenting and another method shall be applied to the second born, or to the third born. Being the experimental pancake means that they got to test things on you, then see which one was the best, but there was no way to make things go back or to apply remedy of the damages done to the experimental pancake. What is done to the experimental pancake— the eldest daughter, was there and permanent. Even the hope that the parents will 'make up' for it was uncertain.

Then the eldest daughter becomes the third parent. May sound like a promotion but really, it's not. Being the third parent means that you have to take care of your siblings in place of your parents. That you have to teach them what you know in place of your parents. That you have— to act like their parents— in place of your parents. Praises like, 'you are so mature', 'such a good sister' or 'you are such a great daughter' may come and go, but does it answer or replace the time and effort that you have given to your siblings— the time and effort that should have been used for relishing your childhood? Yes, taking care of your sibling is a responsibility as the eldest, but maybe not too much to the point that they only know you as their very parent, to the point that they are a stranger to the real parents. In addition to hits, the bragging rights of the parents that 'oh, my children graduate without even me going to their school' is not a bragging right, they are just missing out on the lives of their children.

The last one was the very first one to experience all the trauma and everything that is wrong. Parents fighting, those conflicts, those emotional adjustments just to not get yelled at, and all other things. The eldest daughter has to do a lot of things just to keep the peace inside the house. Always the one to negate the frequencies of both parents, always the one to console one of the parents, always there to make things peaceful again. May seem mature from the outside perspective but, really, it was forced maturity in order to make things a bit better.

Being the eldest daughter is just exhausting at this point.