Ranticism

Don't Talk Back

Don't Talk Back

Deeply integrated to our culture and to the teachings we receive from our parents and elders. It is imperative that when we are reprimanded or being lectured even on the most tiniest things, we are not to talk back.

Though I am not saying that we should talk back every time we are reprimanded and lectured upon, in fact, I highly encourage that we listen and internalise each and every word— learn from it and remember the lesson so that we may never make the same mistake again. It is also important that we take those lessons up until our elder years and also teach the younger generation those lessons, for them to learn from our mistakes and to never repeat the history. If we analyse this, there is nothing wrong in this Filipino culture when framed this way, and yet all the wrong things happen when the framing was different.

Mentioned above was something that is idealistic— a world in which the author dreams to have been the one existing in the realm of reality— but unfortunately, it is not. This is a coin and the coin having two sides, this is the realistic and problematic side of it. How such Filipino culture becomes toxic is how it is being yielded by the elders: the common situation was that a parent or an alder reprimands or lectures a child about something, but one vital point was ignored— not being able to see or even seek the angle that should be coming from the child or the party being lectured.

This common situation usually revolves around the lecture itself, and thinking that they are disciplining the child rather than making them understand what was wrong. To the eyes of a child: it is the elder spewing words upon words and having no connection at all, and leads to the understanding that they must not do that again— but they never learned what was wrong with it, or what made it wrong. Therefore, the goal of disciplining the child goes down to the drain.

But enough about that, let's take this topic in depth. The concept of 'Don't Talk Back' basically means that you can't say anything while you are being lectured on: whether it be to defend yourself, to add information or whatever, you cannot talk back at all. Hell, you can't even try to stop them from talking even if it places you in an embarrassing situation.

And, get this: no one can stop them from lecturing you in public. You are in a fast food diner and you're getting lectured by your mom, no one can stop that mom of yours (because moms are scary) but the prevailing toxic culture of Don't Talk Back was also affecting their way of navigating things.

All in all, this topic of the toxic culture of Filipinos was seen in many perspectives and the discussion of it was so diluted to the point of it being a joke to others and just accepting it as it is. Though the current generation is currently trying to demolish such toxic culture and create a better one which caters to all parties involved in a holistic way, it was too much integrated in our system that getting it out takes so much work, time and effort. That this 'Don't Talk Back' culture was something that needs to be tackled in a serious manner in order to address all of the aspects of it and make it holistic and is able to create a role model citizen from a child. As of the moment, we can hope that realisation will hit the elders that this whole 'Don't Talk Back' thing is something to be frowned upon— that they are only teachings kids to be close- minded and not someone who is willing to listen to every angle before going ballistic and berserk.