Ranticism

'Expectations' is the Chemical X

'Expectations' is the Chemical X

"You are the future of this family."

The famous line that every child hears from their parents especially at the time that they are in adolescence. Even more so if the said child was an achiever. For a young child, to hear these words was like praise—- your parents are expecting so much from you and you like that because that equals into attention and affection—- and so the young child will do their best to achieve anything and everything.

In the long run, a child may have achieved many things in their life resulting in proud parents. But what is the exchange of those achievements? Sure, there is attention, but even more so—- there are added expectations. It was as if implying that 'These achievements are not enough, you need to present more and at some point, it sounded like a threat more than an encouragement.

After that, there were no more things in exchange for those achievements, only that a child must achieve more and more.

This posed a hurdle, an obstacle and a hindrance to the child. And no, this is not something that is to be overcome nor was it a problem to be solved. This is not meant to be encouraging, or anything of that matter. This is meant to call out the sick and toxic culture of placing an absurd amount of expectation on a child and punishing them if those expectations are not met.

Such culture has been a long time sickness of Asian households—- the parents thinking that a child might be able to achieve the dreams that they were not able to because 'they chose to have a child'. It was as if a long time running gag show were the entertainment was focused on the child trying their very best to please their parents only to be burdened with more expectations.

And let us not be blind no more about this issue since we have faced and heard its detrimental effects to the children and even to the society. Many children have committed suicide in light of this expectations, that they cannot handle it no more. Uneven if there came an argument that the child could have talked about it with their parents, most often than not, those parents would only gaslight the child and place an even more burden on them. Remember, this is an Asian household. There is no such thing as 'to console' here but only the cold and hard truth that you must meet those expectations or face the disgrace that you have become.

This issue has become more prevalent during the pandemic. Many students have committed suicide inside their own homes under the reason of too much pressure and expectations coming from their parents. Maybe it was the lack of friendly company that pushed them too far, or maybe it was the watchful gaze of their parents that suffocated them and pushed them to their limits.

But one thing is for sure, the expectations parents place in their child may become too much to the point of harm to the said child.

In the era of being 'woke', many children have voiced out their concern regarding the 'expectations' to their parents, and even more so, many parents are changing their ways and mindset about this. But there is still that prevalence of setting expectations to a child that is too much of a burden or is simply impossible to meet. Either way, change is inevitable.

A parent must remember that a child is not an extension of one's life and that they are not here to achieve the dreams you were not able to. A child is to be treasured and to be guided for them to be the very best self that they can be.

A child is a treasure that must be cared for. By setting expectations, you are already disappointing yourself. 'Expectations' is the Chemical X