For the Love of a Father ✓

The Past Comes Back to Bite Me in the Ass

Sam finds me in my room later on. I'm sure I was quite a site, having cried most of my makeup off. "Hey, you good?"

"I'm ok Big Bird. Just another day in paradise."

"Look... whatever he said, he didn't mean it."

"Somehow, I doubt that. But if you insist."

"Myra... Peggy's dead. That's what the text was about."

"If he would've just said that... Is he ok? I mean ok is a strong word but you know what I mean."

"I'm not sure. She was his last hold on that time that was taken from him."

"I know. And I understand that."

"I'm not trying to sound insensitive, but I don't know how you could. Hell, I don't get it."

"You've never lost something prematurely? You've never had everything you've ever known and loved ripped away from you?" he looks down, ashamed. "I'm glad you haven't Sam. But I think I understand just a little bit, what he's going through." I turn to look out the window, waiting patiently for him to leave.

Once he does, I change into some workout gear and decide to work off some steam in the gym, working through my emotions on the punching bag. "I'm sure you're probably envisioning my face on that." I hear Steve say behind me.

I sigh. "Nope, just needed to get some training in today." I land two more punches and a roundhouse kick on the bag, changing up my stance as I do.

He grabs the bag, stopping my routine. "I'm sorry I yelled. I wasn't prepared for the news I received and it left me feeling vulnerable."

I don't look at him as I respond. "I get it. You're not the only one with a tragic backstory Steve. The world has fucked all of us over just the same."

He nods. "Can we talk about something else?"

"I didn't really want to talk about this to begin with, so sure. What's on your mind, oh mighty Captain?"

"The Accords."

I don't reply, just land a particularly hard punch on the bag that causes Steve to groan. "Sorry. What about The Accords?"

"Are you going to sign them?"

"No."

"Your dad is going to want you to."

"Well, I wanted Dad around when I was younger and I learned to live with that disappointment. He'll have to learn the same."

"So you're going to retire?"

"I've been known to enjoy the quiet life, every once in a while. Could you imagine it, peace and quiet?"

"But is it really peace if we know there's still someone out there doing horrible things and we can't do anything about it?"

"No. But it's better than the alternative. I don't want to be a pawn for the government. My mother was and it ultimately got her killed so..."

"Have you found out any more about that?"

"No. It's like the files weren't even available for Nat to dump online when she put everything out to the public. I have spoken to a few of the people who knew her at the time and only one person knew anything."

"What did he say?"

"She was looking into Alexander Pierce."

"On whose orders?"

"She didn't say. She had received information shortly after the news broke about Howard and Maria Stark. According to those who knew her, my mother had become... driven, in the weeks and months following my grandparents' deaths."

"I think there are some old files in the basement. Have you tried there?"

I nod. "There's nothing there. I've checked."

"I think more boxes were brought about a month ago. You should try again. It couldn't hurt."

"You're right. But we're really not here to talk about me and my tragedy. Are you going to be ok?"

He goes silent and walks to the window, staring out at the open field in the background. "I have to be. Everyone expects me to be."

"No one expects you to be anything more than you, Steve. You're human. You're allowed to have feelings; you're allowed to mourn."

"She requested I be a pallbearer."

"Well, she clearly got the last laugh. You hate being at the center of attention and she's ensured that you will." We're quiet for several moments. "I can go with you, if you'd like."

He shakes his head. "Sam's agreed to come with me. I'll be ok."

"Well, that's a lie if ever I'd heard one. But ok." I put my mask back on. The one that my mother, and later Nat, instructed me to never take off for long. If he couldn't see how he'd hurt me, he could never use it against me. If he never knew how much it hurt, to be in constant competition with a woman who was now dead and gone, then maybe we'd be ok.

*48 Hours Later*

Dad insisted I go to Vienna, even though I wouldn't be signing, a sign of good faith, he called it. That I would play by their rules. Instead I felt like a prisoner, or a zoo animal, put on display for the countries of the world to gawk at.

I chose to keep to myself, in a corner out of the way where I could look over what I had found, what Steve was sure I would find. It was my mother's journal. How S.H.I.E.L.D. had gotten ahold of it, and kept it from me all these years, I wasn't sure. Prior to us leaving the compound I had scanned it onto my Stark tablet, and then locked the original in a place where no one, not even F.R.I.D.A.Y. could find it. But it was enlightening. Most of it was in code. But I knew my mother well and I was able to translate it. She had heard rumors of HYDRA in the darker circles she would sometimes find herself in, and the Winter Soldier that befuddled the intelligence community for decades. But she felt she was being tracked, by who or what she wasn't sure. She had found something that had enraged her, the deep presses of the pen against the page proved that. Fury had lied to her. Everyone had lied to her. Howard and Maria weren't alone when they had been killed. I was in the backseat. Bucky hadn't been counting on a toddler being in the back seat and it appeared he fought his programing enough to leave me alive, screaming, in the back seat. There was an old disk in the back of the journal, a disk that had security camera footage from the road that night, and I heard my tiny screams in the back. Further questioning of Fury, who had not been happy to take my call, proved that I had indeed been with them that night, but they weren't sure how I was alive, or who had killed my grandparents, at that moment.

I hear someone walk up to me and I quickly put the journal away and turn to see my dad next to me. "I know you don't agree with this, but I wanted to thank you for coming with."

I nod. "After this, I'm done. I won't be baited and used for some kind of experiment. I can only assume you know exactly what they put in there about enhanced individuals. I'm out and I'm retired and if your new bestie Ross can't handle that, I dare you both to try and come for me." I say before walking away as the meeting was about to start. King T'Chaka of Wakanda steps up to the podium to give his opening speech.

"When stolen Wakandan vibranium was used to make a terrible weapon we in Wakanda were forced to question our legacy. Those men and women killed in Nigeria were part of a goodwill mission from a country too long in the shadows. We will not, however, let misfortune drive us back. We will fight to improve the world we wish to join. I am grateful to the Avengers for supporting this initiative. Wakanda is proud to extend its hand in peace."

I observe Prince T'Challa at the window, looking down at some commotion in the street, before he turns and runs to his father. "Everyone get down!" But before he can reach him, the room is filled with a giant inferno and we're both thrown back. I collide with a wall and my world goes dark.