Above Her Past

THIRTEEN

***

NADIA

PINATAY NI DAZE ANG MAKINA nang makapag-park siya sa harapan ng aming bahay. The airconditioner in his car is very cold but my hot cheeks are fighting it back. There are children who are playing near our house. Hinatid ako ni Daze sa aming bahay. Bilang isang babae, madalas akong tinotoyo. Even though we talked about the girl clinging on his arm last night, the feeling of jealousy and irritation lingers in my mind, body, and soul. The kissing and cuddling last night lightens up the mood but it goes back to my soy sauce attitude.

Jean can read the mood so he tried to brighten up the mood during breakfast. Likas na badtrip-in ako kaya hindi gumana ang daddy jokes nito. Daze tried to lighten up the mood as well pero mahirap talaga akong suyuin. I kinda hate this kind of attitude sometimes.

"Thank you sa paghatid, Daze." I said without looking at him.

In-unbuckle ko ang seat belt at aalis na sana kung hindi 'to nagsalita. I was confused when I heard the word he uttered.

"Sorry about last night, Nady."

"Bakit ka nagsosorry? Did you regret kissing me?"

We almost did it last night. Sa bawat hawak niya'y napapaso ako na parang isa siyang nagliliyab na torch. He made me feel good. Magagalit ako kapag sinabi niyang pinagsisisihan nya 'yon. Ang saya naming tinapos ang araw namin dahil magkatabi kaming natulog, I got angry when I remembered what happened yesterday. I'm being sensitive and hot-headed, which is not a healthy attitude.

"Of course not. I love kissing you. I want to take it slow, Nady."

He held my hand and filled the spaces between my fingers. I placed my hand on his cheek. His lovely face showed how worried he was.

"Alam kong galit ka, kaya—"

"Bakit naman ako magagalit sa future boyfriend ko?" seryosong tanong ko.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Daze sa sinabi ko. I mean what I said, we're going there anyway. That's our finish line, to end up together. I want him to be my boyfriend so bad. However, entering a serious relationship shouldn't be taken lightly. Gusto kong pagisipan ng taimtim ang bawat desisyon na gagawin ko. Ang gandang sabihin ang salitang boyfriend. I giggled then opened the car's door.

Nakaawang pa rin ang mga labi ni Daze kaya kinuha ko na ang tyansa para makalabas ng kanyang kotse.

"Una na ako, Dazey. See you!"

May sasabihin pa sana siya pero tinakasan ko siya. I can't stay there! I'm afraid what will happen next, I need to stop myself from doing or thinking lustful things. Wala na akong tiwala sa sarili ko. Patawarin mo ako, self. Kung ano man ang ginawa mo kagabi, mag-reflect ka at huwag mo nang uulitin pa 'yon.

With my fast beating heart, I ran inside our house, closed the fucking door, and jump due to my giddy feeling. Sa sobrang lakas ng tili ko, maririnig ako sa bawat sulok ng aming tahanan.

"Shit! Bakit sobrang cute niya?!" tanong ko sa sarili ko at sinampal ng bahagya ang mga maiinit kong pisngi.

I waltzed towards the kitchen to drink water. Daze is the cause of my dehydration. Muntik ko nang isinuko ang Bataan kagabi! I should be thankful he stopped. I am not ready yet! Masyado akong nadala sa momentum.

Another thing, I was very happy when he said that he respects me.

Binuksan ko ang aming ref para kumuha ng tubig. Naglagay ako ng water sa basong kinuha ko.