Above Her Past

TWENTY - TWO

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NADIA

THE DARK CLOUDS ARE ATTEMPTING to let go of their tears—like the person who is going to a certain café to meet the first man he loved. That person is me. I am on my way to meet my father under these dark skies. Takipsilim nakauwi si Daddy mula Manila. Nang matanggap ako ang isang text message mula sa kanya ay dali-dali ko itong binasa—nakikipagkita siya sa shop ng kanyang kaibigan.

This is a rendezvous between my daddy and I. Kung malalaman ni Mommy na nakipagkita ako sa lalaking kinamumuhian niya ngayon ay magagalit siya pati sa akin.

I was hoping that the pain will subside if I meet him. Nag-aalala si Daze sa akin dahil sine-send-an niya ako ng text messages pero hindi ko ito binabasa. Whenever I see his name, I am starting to cry—he makes me vulnerable and I don't want him to see my vulnerability.

When I push the glass door, I entered the café with my nervous heart. The heartbeat are drumming against each other. Mas nalalaglag ang puso ko nang makita siyang nakaupo sa pinakasulok na upuan ng café. Kakaunti lang ang tao dito kaya magandang mag-usap sa lugar na ito.

"Nadia." My daddy murmured when I sat on the chair opposing his.

"Daddy," I called.

"Nadia, let me explain." He said.

Magkahawak ang kanyang mga kamay at pilit na pinapakalma ang kanyang sarili.

"Ayaw akong kausapin ng mommy mo. Saan kayo nags-stay ngayon?"

I noticed that his hair is disheveled, his eyes are sunken, and his skin looks pale. I inhaled a breath.

"When Daze and I went to Manila. Coincidently, I saw you in the mall's parking lot with," kinuha ko ang lukot-lukot na picture sa aking bag at inilapag sa table. "You're with this woman and...Neon. He said that he's my brother. Hindi pa siya nami-meet ni Mommy at wala akong balak na sabihin sa kanya na nasa Pampanga siya."

I did my best to hold back my tears.

"Ano ba ang totoo, Daddy? May pamilya ka na ba bago kami? Are we your second family after you left them?" nagtatakang tanong ko.

Biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko at nakita na tinatawagan ako ni Daze. I didn't answer his calls because I am in the middle of an important conversation.

"Nadia, let me just talk to your mom—"

"Why are you keeping me in the dark? I am an adult now. Yet you're treating me as if I am still your little princess who you don't want any insect lay on her skin. Sana makita mo na kailangan ko ding malaman ang totoo."

They are strict towards me, letting me live in luxuries, and a bountiful life—but the downside was being treated like a five year old girl.

"Micaella was my first girlfriend when I studied in Manila. We were in love at nagbunga 'yon." I saw his Adam's apple move.

That's Neon. That was all in the past but why does my heart clench from all the pain.

"We planned to elope because her family is against our relationship. We were young and immature back then. Her family took her away from me and cut our contact. Her friends said that they migrated to another country. Pagkatapos 'non ay wala na akong narinig na balita mula sa kanila."

"Sinikreto mo lahat ng ito kay mommy." my tears started to drip. "Why didn't you tell her? Kahit siya lang, Daddy, kahit siya lang ang may alam sa kwento ng nakaraan mo—"