Shadow - OsaSuna ✔︎

Chapter 3

Graduation came and gone. Rintarou's parents showing up and pretending to be excited for their son, showering him with fake praise and bringing him and the twins gifts.

It was supposed to be a cheerful and memorable day. A time when they'd leave basically everyone they ever knew and head their own separate ways. So it made perfect sense that Rintarou stuck to his favourite twin and accompanied him in bidding everyone farewell and not that weird when he sat between the twins at the graduation dinner but it was a little weird when he started crying over the gifts they received from his parents.

He rarely cried.

"Why're ya cryin', Rin? What's got ya sad? Hmm?" Osamu asked quietly, handing Rintarou a tissue.

"Nothing. Just sad that we'll be separated," Rintarou partially lied.

The first present he had ever received from his parents in over ten years and it was only because they didn't want to look bad in front of hundreds of people. The first and possibly last gift and although it was small and probably not worth a lot, he cherished it because even though the, 'Congrats Rintarou! Mom and Dad Love You!' was just a cover-up of their real personality, he could at least pretend that they meant it.

He could bask in that moment, beside his favourite person that always cooked for him and made sure his well-being was okay, beside his least favourite person whom he could tolerate to a certain extent, and with his parents, that seemed to be paying more attention to Osamu than anything, or anyone else.

He was just a shadow in the darkness to most. Not seen, not useful, not even aware of his presence because he was nonexistent but when he lifted his head and turned to look at Osamu, he could feel light go into his corner and he realized that although he was a shadow in the dark, Osamu was there to pull him out and illuminate him to the world because at least someone cared more than necessary.

But alas, all good things come to an end and that was the day he moved to college campus─ with Atsumu─ and moved in with─ thankfully, not Atsumu─ but instead, the blond's crush.

He called that a win because now he could blackmail the elder Miya Twin within two seconds. The good part about his roommate? They were both quiet and kept mainly to themselves at the start of their joint living. It became kind of like a routine for them to take turns with everyday things and how to get around until they were more comfortable with each other.

Kiyoomi, Atsumu's crush, cleaned and kept their living space tidy and Rintarou, although a picky eater, managed to cook thanks to what Osamu had taught him.

No, he didn't eat his healthy food, indulging in junk, but Kiyoomi was more than happy to have a balanced meal freshly made. They hardly spoke for the first two or three weeks, busy with their work and getting used to being away from whoever they had grown up with. But over time, they began chatting over Rintarou's cooking and between showers and eventually just at random times.

Then there was Atsumu. Funnily enough, he hardly visited Rintarou but when he did, he was suspiciously clean and tidy and on his best behaviour. Rintarou thought that was hilarious.

"You wanna eat onigiri today?" Rintarou asked tiredly, school making him lose more energy than he thought possible but he always had time to waste a few extra minutes which was cooking for his new friend.

Kiyoomi looked up from his textbook, raising an eyebrow in surprise but nodding slowly.

"Yeah, sure. You know how to make that?"

"Yeah? It's not that hard. Learned from my best friend," Rintarou replied easily, shrugging with a sigh. "I may be picky but he always made me learn new recipes. He once said, 'Rin, yer never gonna survive in the real world if yer always eatin' snacks. Learn somethin' at least.' And that's why I can cook for you. He put a lot of effort into me."

Kiyoomi nodded slowly, processing the information as he closed his textbook and leaned back into his seat, watching Rintarou thoughtfully.

"I assume it's the other Miya twin. You don't seem to get along with the one here," Kiyoomi commented.

"Yeah, Atsu and I never really managed to have a civil conversation. I always wanna sink his face in, which is funny because he and Samu have the same face. But the thing is, I really don't see the same face when I look at them. They're just a little different, hardly noticeable," Rintarou explained, a soft smile on his face as he thought of Osamu. He had figured from way before that he liked him. He did but he had no plans to say it out loud any time soon. That would be his little secret from his best friend, as long as Atsumu didn't snitch about the time he was having a real damn good dream that may have revolved around him and Osamu doing the dirty. Kiyoomi just watched his whole demeanour change at the mention of the other twin and he realized, Suna Rintarou was in love. Interesting. "Yeah, Samu was always much nicer than his damn brother. He was always cooking for me and always helping me in school because I wasn't the best. Always getting in fights with others and his own twin and-" Rintarou cut himself off. His onigiri starting to be forgotten as his body moved according to muscle memory to cook but his brain was elsewhere. Kiyoomi was just opening his mouth to tell him that it was okay, that he didn't need to continue but then the black-haired interrupted him and continued. "And I realize now that I miss him. He was the only one that ever listened to me even when I thought no one was and he never made me feel forgotten. And I-” Rintarou cut himself off again, eyes looking lost as he helplessly stared in Kiyoomi’s general direction. “And I- Oh god, I miss him. FUCK!"

Although Kiyoomi despised skin contact or touching anyone in general, he quickly got up and wrapped Rintarou in a hug because he wasn't heartless and lest he have a full-blown meltdown, Rintarou needed someone to cry on. He pulled him in tightly as to remind him that he was grounded to Earth and let him sob into his shoulder.

Okay, he grabbed a clean kitchen towel and placed it on his shoulder before Rintarou's flood works began.

That night became kind of like a silent agreement that they could cry on each other if need be, talk about anything, and Kiyoomi took it upon himself to do what Osamu used to do and helped Rintarou in subjects he was struggling in every now and then. 

That pattern went on for days, weeks, months, and in between, there was the good stuff like face timing and the very frequent messaging with Osamu, then the bad things like late-night calls from drunken parents telling him he was disappointing, and Kiyoomi, although never a crier, sometimes cried when Rintarou would wordlessly crawl into his arms and begin crying.

Osamu didn't have to know he cried. He didn't have to know his eating was junk food and he was probably developing some form of deficiency disease─ Atsumu had said so when he spotted him eating a tub of ice cream alone─ and Osamu didn't have to know that he had a massive and painful crush.

He was surviving. He was doing okay. Suna Rintarou could handle his life of pure downhill and no rest with flat earth in his life. Really, downhill seemed better than uphill in terms of walking because gravity played a big role. But people sometimes forgot that in terms of metaphors, although going uphill was a sign that you got closer to your goals, they focused more on the parts where life was obstacle filled which was simply going downhill in a spiral because they always forgot to look upwards where the good was.

Except when Miya Atsumu was the person you grew up with, nothing ever looked good since he was always three feet away.