The Lovebird Trilogy

The End

CHAPTER 7 — The End

Mood Music: Lay Me Down — Sam Smith

 

COUPLE 1

 

For an eighty-year-old man I awoke feeling pretty good that morning. Miles and I had a fabulous time with Maddy, Eric and our grandchildren that weekend spending the bulk of it at Disneyworld. Although we returned to our condo late last night, Miles asked if we could make a giant sundae and just chat for a while. We ended up chatting until the wee hours of the morning, which was so much fun. There was so much reminiscing, laughing and smiling. When we finally decided to go to bed, we held each other and I think I remember him repeatedly whispering that he loved me as I drifted off.

Carefully stretching, I noticed my husband was missing. A glance toward the clock telling me that it was 10:56, I figured he was already up with his first cup of coffee. I was about to rise when I noticed the envelope on his pillow, my name written along the front in shaky handwriting. Smiling because I assumed it was an out of the blue romantic card, I grabbed it, running a finger under the flap. Instead of a card I discovered a disc a little larger than the circumference of my wedding band.

Hm, was this a music album or a movie?

Inserting it in a compartment at the bottom of the large screen within a bedroom wall, I took a seat at the end of the bed. "Television on. Play disc." While it loaded I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, smiling when his image appeared. The background let me know he recorded this in our living room. I wondered if Miles could have created it on Thursday since I recognized that was the outfit he wore the day before we all left for Orlando.

"Hi, sweetheart. I want to start off saying that I love you." The expression on his face and the tone of his voice greatly concerned me. If I didn't know any better, I might have thought that after six and a half decades together he had decided to leave me. "Being diagnosed with Alzheimer's five years ago...that was the most difficult news I've ever received because it meant that eventually I would forget you, forget Maddy and forget our three grandkids and that...that's slow torture."

Eyes beginning to shine, Miles shook his head. "It didn't take long for me to decide that I wouldn't allow myself to reach the final stages of this disease. Forgetting where I put the keys, forgetting someone's name, forgetting what we ate for dinner...I could deal with that, but when it began to feel like my thoughts were too foggy I planned on doing something about it."

I felt sick. My stomach cramped, my palms slickened and I began to rock back and forth as my vision blurred until I efficiently blinked him back into view.

"Jacob, I thought about sharing this with you, but I knew how you'd react. I knew you would try to change my mind, try to convince me that it would be okay, we'd manage and that every moment is precious regardless of the ability to remember. I know that because if our situations were reversed I would try my damndest to change your mind because I love you. And even if you were to look at me like I was a stranger, which would be painful to accept, at least you would still be here and I'd cherish every moment. Your brain might not remember me, but deep down I'd believe that your heart did.

"I'm a hypocrite though." He paused to swipe at a couple tears. "I'd desperately want you to stay, but I can't. The medication kept me pretty stable until the last few months. I began declining and forgetting so many things and I knew...I knew I would have to do something soon before I forgot about my plan." Mouth trembling, Miles stared somewhere off camera for a few moments. "I love you, Jacob, but I don't wish for you or our family to see me like that, to witness my decline until this disease causes me to forget how to use the bathroom, how to eat and swallow. My body is beginning to betray me and everything will become foreign. I don't want you to watch me like that. I don't want you to watch me," with a gasp Miles began crying in earnest,  "die. I won't have that. I can't. I love you all too much to put you through that.