Aimless (JJBA)

5 Guilt

"Jojo?" Kakyoin's voice called from behind him.

What was he doing here? Why was he there? He could have been on his way to Jotaro's room as it has been a few hours since they met.

Jotaro didn't want to seem like he was panicking or guilty, so he stopped walking. He turned, but not fully towards him. Yet no words could come to his mouth. How could he explain why he was leaving someone else's room. Sweaty. Smelled of someone else's cologne. Fruity scent of lube. Face flushed as if he had a fever. Lips swollen from being sucked.

He pulled down his cap and said, "Nori." He needed to play it cool, but his mouth was so dry. He placed his shaking hands into his pockets. He didn't care which ones they were in; he needed to conceal them.

"Visiting a friend...?" Kakyoin's voice trailed off as his eyes went from Jotaro's eyes to his collar.

Jotaro wondered what he was looking at, then a memory came to mind. His fling from a few minutes ago's mouth lingered there a bit longer than usual. He shifted his jacket with his hand that happened to hide in the pocket, hoping to cover the hickey that formed there.

Kakyoin glanced back at Jotaro. "Is there something I should know?"

"No," Jotaro said. "I have to go." He turned to walk away.

"Jojo," he called. "Wait."

He didn't wait. He was embarrassed. No, he felt guilty. He may not be in a relationship with Kakyoin, but he still had feelings towards him. But he didn't deserve him. He couldn't have him.

His heart thumped painfully in his chest as he closed and locked his room's door behind him.

He didn't feel relieved that he escaped Kakyoin, knowing he couldn't keep up with his fast strides. He felt worse. He left him there.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He looked at his phone, seeing that Kakyoin was calling.

His stomach went queasy as he placed the phone on the counter.

He needed a shower.

Jotaro didn't want to hear what he wanted to say. He was afraid of what Kakyoin may say or do.

Jotaro went ahead and showered. Maybe it could wash away the guilt and shame he felt. Get all the sticky sweat and lube off. Maybe he could smell like himself again.

...

The night was brutal. Jotaro tossed and turned, nervous about what the day may bring.

Jotaro got up, dressed and got ready for work. He didn't bother to look at his phone. He inhaled and exhaled before leaving his room.

He went to his office and sat at his desk. He did some work. He wasn't in the mood to see anyone today. If he did all his work there, there was a less chance of running into Kakyoin. This was avoiding his problems, but he couldn't think of what to do. This was just a temporary solution.

Soon it was time for most to go to lunch. Jotaro went ahead to the lab since he wasn't prepared to work all day in his office. If he knew ahead of time, he wouldn't have to leave. He was planning a quick in and out.

As he was in the process of grabbing some files, his phone rung. Curiosity got the best of him, and he check his phone.

Jolyne was calling.

Hesitantly, he answered it. "Hello?"

"Dad!" Jolyne said, surprised. "You picked up!" It was like she was in disbelief that he picked up. "Hey, is everything okay. Uncle Noriaki has been very worried about you all morning."