Aimless (JJBA)

10 Want

*trigger warning of thoughts of suicide and feelings of worthlessness (as if I have to mention it after the last few chapters)

Jotaro, Avdol, Kakyoin, Jolyne, and Polnareff simply walked through the hallway of the building he lived in. The only ones talking were Polnareff and Avdol, as they told them about living in Italy. Every once and a while, Jolyne would ask some questions.

Jotaro was just quiet as he listened. Every once and a while, he would take a glance at Kakyoin, but he would quickly look away.

He shouldn't be in his presence.

He tried swallowing the lump in his throat. He looked at him again.

Kakyoin kept up with them despite looking tired. His hand gripped the handle of his cane tightly. Why was he wasting his energy trying to help Jotaro?

Kakyoin noticed Jotaro staring a bit longer than before. He gave him a supporting smile.

Jotaro responded by looking down at his feet. He watched his feet take a step each. He became so fixated on it that he didn't recognize that they were waiting for him to answer a question he didn't hear. "Hm?"

Polnareff asked, "Have you considered therapy?"

Jotaro was puzzled. He had no idea how the conversation of the couple's life in Italy turned into this. He started with sighed, "I'm..." He stopped himself before saying the word 'fine'. They all knew he wasn't fine. He, himself, finally knew that wasn't the case. What else could he say but "no"?

"Maybe you should give it a try," Polnareff suggested nonchalant. "It took some time getting used to, but it helped a lot. You know, about my sister, the trip to Egypt and losing my legs. It can maybe help you as well. You learn things you never thought to notice."

Therapy? Wouldn't that mean he will have to tell someone all his secrets. They would know how disgusting he is. What terrible things he has done. How worthless-.

"Jojo," Avdol called, breaking into his thoughts. "They are not there to judge you. They are there to help you to help yourself." He gave him a friendly pat on his back.

Jotaro wasn't sure how to respond. He just continued walking without saying a word. It wasn't judging if it was true. He barely had any value or purpose. He wasn't worth anything. He was lost in his thoughts once again.

"Jojo," Kakyoin's voice called.

Jotaro was snapped out of his thoughts as he saw that they reached the living area.

"Maybe we should sit down," Kakyoin suggested. His hand reached Jotaro's arm, but he stopped himself. A look of pity appeared on his face. He quickly averted his eyes as he said, "It's not safe to walk around so deep in your head."

"Fine," Jotaro said without arguing. He didn't want Kakyoin to overexert himself anyways. He went over to a couch and sat down.

Kakyoin sat across from him on another couch. He wasn't directly in front of him. Jolyne sat beside Jotaro while Avdol sat on the other side. Polnareff was parked on the other side of Avdol.

Avdol said, "This was a good idea, Noriaki. At least you are still getting fresh air, Jojo."

Jotaro grunted a response. He noticed that Kakyoin made sure not to get close to Jotaro.

Maybe it was for the best.

Jotaro folded his arms in front of him as he noticed that Avdol was carrying a conversation with Jolyne. He tried his best to listen, but it was nearly impossible. What happened to his concentration and attention span these last couple of days?