The Colorful Path

Chapter Eleven: Blue; Sad But Enlighten

A week has gone by since I left the apartment and have stayed with Beth. I can honestly say that this last week with Samuel not being around or bothering me has been great. I never realized how unhappy I truly was with him until now.

Nothing has happened between Beth and I other than that one kiss because she doesn't want me to feel like she's had any impact on my decision about Samuel, but I am ready to leave. I know I need to for my own sake, but I don't know how and I don't know how my family will react to it.

My family loved Samuel. He was the perfect boyfriend, too perfect. He wasn't a loser who knocked me up and he wasn't some asshole until now. Until we moved here. Until I cheated on him. This really is a lot, even just accepting that I am probably bisexual, it's still a lot.

All my life, all I have ever tried was to not be a disappointment to my family, like my siblings were. I am afraid that this is going to be the disappointment they didn't want. A queer child.

Beth and I are at a small campus café and she sees me getting lost in my mind. She reaches for my hand and pulls me back to reality.

"What's on your mind, tissue?"

"Your dad just seems so accepting that you're a lesbian. I am afraid my family won't be."

"My dad wasn't always this accepting. Neither was my mother." She pauses. "My mother left my father and blamed me for it, but my dad. He never blamed my mother's choices on me, but was weird about my sexuality at first. He was happy I wouldn't be a teen mom, but wasn't always this supportive about it."

"What changed that?"

"Time went on and we both grew from it. It's my life and my sex life that has no affect on him so why should he be worried about who I am sleeping with anyways?" She pauses. "I don't know anything about your parents, but your sister, Jess, she already knows."

"I didn't tell her."

"She already knows. She probably knew before you even thought about it."

"What makes you say that?"

"From what you told me about what she said on the phone and how less worried she is about you now that you are with me. She knows. Call her and talk to her."

I sort of laugh at Beth, but she's serious. I then pull out my phone and give Jess a call. It isn't long before she answers.

"Hey, Avery, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay, what's up?"

"I don't know how to say it, so I'll just say it." I pause. "I think I am bisexual."

"Oh, that's cool."

Her reaction catches me off guard. "Um, I think I might be into girls and guys."

"Yeah, and?"

"Why are you acting so cool about this?"

"Avery, you're my little sister. I always thought you were going to be queer."

My eyes widen. "What? How?"

"No one plays with all girl Barbie dolls, naked, like a girl who is in the closet."

"You never said anything to me?"

"No, it was something you were always going to figure out on your own."

"Do you think mom and dad are going to be upset?"

"Avery, they thought you were going to be a lesbian long before I ever thought that."