Versailles Series Book 5: The Barista

CHAPTER 28

~ tabi ~

"Bakit mo nga ba niligawan kasi iyon?" Sabi ko habang kagat-kagat ang pizza sa bunganga ko.

We were talking about our exes. We were talking about how foolish we were to even date them.

"She looked pretty, okay? And that was in high school. Ang requirement ko lang sa babae noon ay maganda."

I nodded. "Tama ka naman. Ang requirement ko nga lang din sa lalaki noon ay magaling mag-gitara o naglalaro ng basketball o guwapo. Kahit walang substance, okay lang. Saka sino bang magkakagusto sa akin noon? Ang taba-taba ko. Taon-taon kailangan kong magpatahi ng uniform kasi laging masikip sa akin."

"You had baby fats, Tabi. Everybody has it."

Hinampas ko ang balikat nito. "Baby fats hanggang high school?" Natawa ako. "You always say things to make me feel better. I was obese then, Calhoun. The doctors have said it themselves. Ikaw nga underweight 'di ba?"

"Yeah. Lampa ako noon. I easily got knocked out when we were playing basketball. Turns out, height isn't the one you need to play that damn game. So I started working out."

That he did. And he turned out to be the most gorgeous man in my eyes. I shook my head to remove the thought. I don't want to go down that lane.

"Alam mo ba kung ilang babae ang lumapit sa akin para lang tanungin iyung number mo. Heartthrob ka na noon, Cal." I laughed when I remembered how much gifts I carried to him during Valentine's and Christmas season because I was his best friend.

"Sorry about that. It's out of my control."

"I know."

He sighed. "How are we single right now, Tabi? Where did we go wrong?"

Dahil nakaupo kami sa sahig, nakasandal kami sa sofa nito. I leaned my head on the seat. "I know where I went wrong. I dated assholes. Ghad, what was I thinking?"

"It's not your fault they cheated on you."

"I know. But sometimes I think back. I can't help but get haunted by my insecurities. Alam ko naman na hindi ako iyung conventional na maganda. Na sa dating scene, wala akong pretty privilege. Iyung mga napupunta sa akin, iyung mga wala ng choice. It doesn't help na mabait naman ako. Na aalagaan ko naman sila. Na mamahalin ko naman sila. I just didn't have the face and the body that they will desire enough to think about me night and day."

Calhoun leaned his elbow on the sofa while facing me. I kept my eyes on the lightbulb on top of me.

"You're beautiful, Tabi."

Nilamutak ng palad ko ang mukha nito. "Gago ka talaga. Tigilan mo nga ako, Calhoun. I grabbed my beer can and gulped it down. I hope I can use the beer as an excuse for my blushing cheeks. He tells me that every time especially when I am pulling myself down. But he sounded different tonight.

"How many of your exes do you actually remember?"

He shrugged. "I don't count."

"Don't count? Or lost count?"

"I may sound like an asshole for saying this, but not one of them left a mark here," he pointed to his temple, " and here," he pointed to his heart.

"That's sad. I wonder if my exes also think of me that way..." I pouted my lips while lost in thought. Maybe that's why they cheated on me. Like Calhoun's exes, I didn't leave a mark in their lives. I felt sad at the thought.

Calhoun touched my chin and brought me back in the moment. "They weren't the right people, Tabi."

"Who are the right people? How do you know if they are the right people?"