Luna stalked through the Nest. This time of night had the ship unusually quiet, the usual sounds of conversation and laughter, fun and games, having died out hours earlier. No, not quite quiet. She heard a gentle rattle from the salon. She ducked into the cargo bay and made her way forrard.
She found the stormtrooper sergeant, Anayah, sat at the roundtable, helping herself to some snacks. She was alone.
'Where's your supervisor?' Luna asked her, reaching for the blaster at her belt, then realised she'd left it on her nightstand in her and Hoshi's quarters. She tensed, expecting the fight. Anayah looked up, then went back to her food. No fight tonight. Makes a pleasant change. Luna searched her memory. 'Where's Garan?'
'I gave him the night off,' Anayah said around a mouthful of crackers and noodles. 'Looks like he could do with a good nap.'
Luna swore. She had been neglecting her duties as squadron leader, neglecting taking care of her crew. She'd have to have a talk with him later.
'I wasn't going to go anywhere,' Anayah protested, probably thinking the swearing was directed at her. 'I just want food. When we went to half rations the other day I've been up most nights from my stomach grumbling.'
Luna winced at that, taking a seat closest to the exit.A quick look from Anayah told her that she knew the placing was deliberate. She had noticed the 'we', but decided not to press it for an advantage. 'I'm sorry,' she said quietly, almost to herself. 'We've been running low on supplies for a while, I had to take that measure. Running low on everything.'
'Things not going well, I take it?' the stormtrooper's tone was mocking, and then at once conciliatory. 'I'm sorry. I know it can be hard.'
The change in tone confused Luna for a moment, until she realised that she was crying. She wiped her eyes furiously, angry at herself. It's fine. Just finish your food - is what she should have said, what she meant to say. What came out was, 'I don't know what to do,' she buried her head in her hands, her body heaving with a sob.
'Uh,' was Anayah's response. She heard a metal clatter on the table, then felt a tentative hand on her shoulder. Luna didn't shrug it off. It felt good, even coming from her. 'There there,' Anayah said awkwardly.
Luna felt the words rising in her mouth, threatening to overwhelm her. But as much as she tried to push them down, the harder they pushed pack, erupting from her in an eruption of words. 'It's wasn't supposed to be like this,' she sniffed. 'It was always Face. He should be here. He should be the one leading us. Like I messed up on Anaxe and nearly got captured. It was luck that I managed to get out of it. Now I have to intentionally rescure someone else? I can't do this. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how be a leader. I don't know how to get him back. I have nothing. I've been sitting here for days, trying to think up a plan for getting him back, getting us out of this mess but I've got nothing.I don't - I can't - I,' and suddenly the words were no longer enough, there wasn't enough air. She tried to breath and she looked wildly about her in a panic, looking for - something. Anything. Something to help. But there was nothing, and her breaths became more and more shallow.
'Hey, it's going to be okay,' Luna felt Anayah's arms around her, rubbing her back. 'Just take a deep breath, nice and slow. That's it. Again. Nice and slow,' she spoke softly in Luna's ear, again and again, until Luna felt the world coming back to her, felt herself calm, the panic still there, but no longer as strong as it had been.
Luna opened her eyes. She wasn't even aware of having closed them, but opening them took a titanic effort, like the muscles around her eyes had clamped shut. Anayah was still hugging her, and she let herself melt into the embrace, wrapping her arms around her.
