Love, Dahlia // B2

[45]

Jake's P.O.V.

I wave my free hand to the couch and Dahlia sits. I sit next to her and sigh.

"Are you really going back?" She asks quietly.

"I don't know," I answer. "It's probably the safest place for me. I can't hurt anyone there. Or myself."

"You know that's not true," Dahlia says.

"Hey," I turn my head to her. "There were some not so bad times in there."

"Oh really?" She raises her eyebrow, looking over at me. "Like what?"

"Well," I think. "Do you remember that one day after they gave us Jello at group therapy?"

"You mean liquid poison?" She laughs. "There's no way that was actually Jello."

"Yes," I nod. "That day."

"Yeah I remember," Dahlia breathes.

We sat against the wall in the meeting room. Everyone else had scattered around the room, privately eating their cup of Jello and avoiding eye contact.

"You're supposed to just suck the whole thing out at once," I explained, wiggling the Jello cup in my hand. "It's already in the perfect bite size form."

"Yeah if you can unhinge your jaw like a snake," Dahlia laughed. "Besides, won't you get in trouble for inhaling your food like that?"

"Why? I'm not in here for an eating disorder," I joked.

"I don't think you're funny, Jacob," she grunted.

I leaned over to her before digging my flimsy plastic spoon into the Jello. "Fine. I'll do it your way."

"Oh you mean the normal way?" Dahlia scoffed.

"We're at group therapy, Dahlia," I looked around the room before lowering my voice. "None of us are normal."

She laughed, earning herself a quick glare from the counselor. She quickly stopped before putting her hand over her mouth to muffle her quiet laughs.

"That was the day I really started considering you a friend," Dahlia says, observing the ceiling.

"See? That was a good day," I reply.

"Do you remember that day Nina let me sit in your room?" She asks. "It was totally against the rules to leave us alone in there, but she stood at the door so we wouldn't get caught."

"Yeah," I nod. "That was a good day too."

"Tell me about your voices," I requested.

It took her a while to reply, almost as if she didn't know the right words.

"They're ghosts," she said finally. She continued on and on about the three ghosts she was proud to call her friends. She stopped when the tears started as soon as Luke was mentioned. I didn't want to pry, but she was really opening up. It was incredible to hear something so personal and it meant the world she chose me to confide in. "Have you ever been in love, Jake?"

"I mean," I thought, caught off guard. No I hadn't been in love. I'd never dated anyone. I'd never even had so much as a crush on someone, at least nothing passed a kindergarten level of romance. "There are people that I love."

"But have you ever been in love?" She repeated, wiping her cheek free of tears.

"No," I shook my head. "I haven't."

"Keep it that way," she said quietly, putting her head against her knees. It was strange to hear her so pessimistic.

I stayed quiet after that and I let her finish crying. When she was done I sat up straight, lifting my back off of my bed. I slid across the floor to her and leaned up against the wall with her. She picked her head up, only to rest it on my shoulder, and we just sat together. Until Nini opened the door back up and told us it was time.

This was the first of many of these moments Dahlia and I would share. Sometimes, she would talk. Sometimes, she would cry. Sometimes, we would sit there quietly with each other and just be present. Sometimes, she would get me to open up. She's a very persuasive person when she wants to be. Confiding in Dahlia was one of the easiest things I've ever had to do.

"I don't know if I'd tack the word good on there," Dahlia admits. "But it was a day."

"A day that lead to another day and another day and another day-"

"Okay, I get your point," Dahlia cuts me off. She reaches for my hand, squeezing it in her own. "You can't go back."

"I'll be okay," I reply.

"I won't be," she says, her lips turning down. I wrap my arm around her and pull her into me. She lays her head against me for a few moments before pulling away again. "That's so selfish of me."

"No, it's not selfish," I shake my head. "I get it. You know, I was in there for 4 years, in and out, before you showed up."

"I didn't realize it was that long," she says.

"My point," I continue. "Is that I don't think I made any progress, until you were there."

"I'm not going to be there if you go back," she says.

I pause. I hadn't thought about that when Mom and I talked about sending me back to the ward.

"Didn't think about that, did you?" She asks.

"No," I reply. "I hadn't."

"You don't have to go back to that place to get better, Jake," Dahlia says. "If what you said about your progress with me is true, then maybe you shouldn't go back."

"I can't just use you like free therapy," I argue. "You have a life to worry about."

"Well, you'll still have to see a therapist," she says. "I'm not trained for that. But I think you should still stay here. Be with your mom, your sister."

I laugh a little to myself. "That's not my sister."

"Oh," she says, her eyebrows coming together. "I'm sorry, I just thought-"

"It's okay," I cut her off. "It's Mitch's sister."

"Oh," she nods. "Oh."

"Look, I'll talk to my mom again," I sigh. "But there's no guarantee she lets me stay. I'm a lot to handle, especially since it's just her."

Dahlia nods, letting me know she understands. "Just- if you do go back- be good. I want to be able to visit you as fast as possible. And that won't be an option if you mouth off in group therapy every day."

"You got it," I salute her. "I'll be on my best behavior."

"Okay smartass," she grunts, laying her head on my shoulder. We sit there, bantering and talking about the rare good days we had in the ward, for hours.

A.N.

IT'S MY BIRTHDAYYY!!!!!!!!

I've had this chapter written up for a while now so I finally decided to publish it. You may not here from this book for a little bit again now, but I promise I am working on it. (Like actually write it and work on it consistently, not work on it once a month when I feel good)

Anywho, I hope everyone has an amazing Sunday (or whatever day you are reading this)!

-Redd

(no emojis because I am on my laptop rn)