In These Arms [mxm]

Chapter 28 - Keeping a secret

The hole in my heart was quickly filled in with the bustling excitement of Chaesol and Ari upon seeing me again. Since they were asleep and had no recollection of seeing me back at the police station, they fervently expressed their betrayal that I got to see them, but they did not get to see me. They each took turns sitting on my lap, showing me pages out of their favourite books, their favourite dinosaur toys, or action figures, and trying to feed me the leftovers of their delicious kid's meals. I pretended to take big chomps out of their snacks, but realistically, I did not have such a stomach for eating mushy children's foods.

Jung-ho's head had been unwrapped of its bandages, and his hair was styled so that you could not tell at first glance that he had large patches missing on his head. For the first time since I met these people, he appeared so full of life and energy as he playfully scrawled across the bed beside Jaemin as she intermittently focused on her book. She was wearing a summery dress as she usually did, this time a greenish florally one that sprawled across the bed from her knees. Both of their legs floated in the air behind them, and sometimes their feet would likely touch as if they shared a subtle secret.

Once the children were eventually settled from their initial excitement, laying on the floor with books in front of them as they quietly read amongst themselves, I was finally able to talk properly with Jaemin. Playing with these kids helped me to clear my head and ease the sufferings of my heart so that the burdens felt significantly lighter. My heart felt fuller than it did before, so perhaps I could speak and think things through properly with Jaemin's help.

Jaemin closed her book and sat up cross legged on the bed. It always baffled me that she was considered a middle-aged woman when she looked younger than me in this twenty-six-year-old body. "You looked so full and heavy of burden when you walked in here," she commented, looking me up and down. "But I see these two angels have worked hard to lift your spirits."

"I can say much of the same for Jung-ho," I said, nodding towards him. "You look significantly better."

"That's because I'm a fighter married to an even bigger fighter," he said, grinning and flexing his arm muscles. "I'm due to go home at the end of next week. Of course, the battle doesn't end there but I am already so much better off."

"I'm so relieved to hear that," I said with sincerity.

"And yourself?" Jung-ho answered. "Have you properly reunited with your family?"

I shrugged. "My lover told me he wants to focus on me, but I suspect that I am not truly in his heart. My father, however, I managed to see for the first time yesterday. He accepts me now, though it took a heavy toll on his body. I am scared to visit him again. Even though Chanyeol warned me against seeing him, I ultimately defied his warning and put Father in danger. As much as I want to see him again, I cannot cause his heart so much pressure a second time."

Jaemin's lips pursed with sympathy. "But you recovered your relationship with the man?"

I nodded. "I believe so."

"Then that's what matters," Jaemin said. "He raised you for a long time, of course he will want to know that you are fine and healthy."

"He also knew about my relationship with Chanyeol," I said, glancing down at my fingers. It was hard to believe that even though we snuck around and loved each other in secret for years, Father-in-law always secretly knew and gave us his blessing in the form of silence. "He also believed I had betrayed them both."

Jaemin's eyes brimmed with tears. "Oh dear."

Evidently used to Jaemin's empathetic nature, Jung-ho pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her. She dabbed it below her reddening eyes as she looked at me with sympathy.