In These Arms [mxm]

Chapter 30 - Flashes of memory

A/N: Back with my eeeendless excuses and apologies. Now it's the nitty gritty stuff i am dreading writing after so much writers constipation, and there will be plotholes because i've changed the backstory 4500 times, so i'm sorry. I've learned that I'm ADHD so it should be a bit telling exactly why I'm like this. Laptop ALSO shat itself again after spending $300 AUD on its battery replacement, but I got it working again for now. Hopefully warranty kicks in fml 

Anyway, please enjoy the drama and send love because I am REEEEEALLY struggling to write and need all the support to finish this as much as i can. 

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The toll this afternoon left on my body had me feeling drained of all life. My head rolled while my body leaned limp against Chanyeol as he worked hard to pull one of his black robes around me. My head felt heavy while my eyes fought to close, but I did not want to miss a moment of being in his presence while he took care of me. Maybe I was acting spoiled, but his aftercare made me feel like this magic between us still meant love. Perhaps I was a fool for thinking so, but I was only a fool in love.

"You appear so sleepy," Chanyeol said with a grin. "I forgot how cute you look when you get like this."

I chuckled. "Even in the body of this old man?"

"Especially in the body of this old man," he grinned. "Do you want to rest?"

I shook my head. "M-mm. I want to sit on the couch and look out at the view."

Chanyeol fastened the tie of the robe tightly around my waist then leaned forward to kiss my temple. After quickly drying himself down and pulling on his own robe, he put his arm around my shoulders and led me out to the lounge. The table had yet to be replaced, leaving a large empty space in the middle of the floor. The light in the living area reflected against the glass, blocking my view of outside. I moved to the window and peered out where my shadow blocked out the light behind me and appreciated the view. It was already almost fully dark outside, with just a slightly blue tinge remaining in the otherwise black sky. Far in the horizon, looking past the skyrises and ocean behind them, there was a thin line of orange sky still waiting to be covered in darkness.

"Should I pull the couch forward or a closer view?" he asked, coming behind me to kiss my neck. I closed my eyes and smiled, savoring his warmth and attention.

"That would be nice."

While Chanyeol moved the couches forward, I walked to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle to prepare us each a hot chocolate. I prepared two drinks and felt a slow wave of sadness sweep through me, reminded by the devastating fate of our most precious mugs. They remained inside my bag, waiting to be taken in for repair. If they could truly be repaired, then perhaps our hearts could learn a lesson from them; that not everything that breaks, is broken forever.

Chanyeol pulled a nesting table in front of the couch and set the mugs down on it for me. As I sat down and pulled my legs up to curl beside me, Chanyeol got up and turned off the light before returning to my side. The sudden absence of light took me by surprise, but I quickly adjusted and relaxed into the quietness in set within me. Chanyeol came back and sighed deeply as he sat down leaning forward, with his knees supporting his elbows, and his hands clasped beneath his chin. As I stole a glance at his face partially hidden by shadow, I saw the dancing city lights reflecting in his eyes. I could also just vaguely make out tired rings beneath them.

"Were you very tired today?" I asked.

"M-hmm," he answered, not moving his gaze away from the window.

As I continued gazing up at him, I became overwhelmed by the desire to touch him. To run my fingers gently along his cheeks, across his lips and down his neck. I wanted to watch his head roll back with the anticipation of my touch, and for his eyes to close with bliss at the most innocent sensations. Would he be affected by my touch now as he was in the past? Perhaps not. For fear of rejection, I kept my hands to myself. Instead, I uncurled my legs and placed my feet on the ground before leaning forward until we touched again.