Ice Cold

21

TRIGGER WARNING: brief mention of self harm/suicide

Landon Reilly

I never wanted to get used to being in Wren's car, but it had become a familiar place for me. It was always clean, and it had an air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror that had a new car scent. The seats were leather with a section of suede on the back. And there was nothing in it to really personalize it which somehow actually made it even more Wren.

Neither of us said anything when I got in the car. He just started driving, nothing but silence between us. He didn't even have one of his stupid audiobooks playing. I couldn't tell if that meant there was something going on with him or if he just wanted to sit in silence.

When we got on the high way was when I finally decided to speak up.

"Where are we going?" I asked, glancing over at him.

At first glance, Wren just looked the same as he always did. Casual, unbothered, calm, collected. But when I looked closer I noticed his jaw was set tightly, his eyes set intently on the road, and his hands gripping the steering wheel like he was afraid it would fall off.

"Where are we going?" I repeated, more urgency in my tone.

The tension slipped from his face so fast that I questioned if it was even there in the first place. He glanced at me briefly before setting his eyes back on the road.

"Just going for a drive," he said. "There doesn't always have to be a destination."

"But why?"

I was asking myself that question as much as I was asking him. Why did he want me to come with him and why did I say yes? I was still angry with him and myself for the way he made me feel, yet I opened myself up for these feelings by getting in his car just because he asked me to.

I always wanted to be alone, but I didn't like feeling lonely. With Wren it was just... different.

"Because driving is calming for me," Wren replied.

"You're always calm," I retorted with a scoff.

"I'm glad it appears that way," he said.

I stared at him, unsure on how to take that. Wren never let himself be vulnerable. He always had this mask of indifference, hiding the deepest parts of himself away so far that it seemed like those parts didn't even exist. But, just for a brief moment, he let that mask slip, revealing a side to him I'd never seen. A side that showed he wasn't always as collected as he seemed.

"I don't know why I agreed to this," I admitted.

Wren grinned. "Because you can't stay away from me, despite thinking that I ruin you."

"You do ruin me," I said, though I knew I couldn't blame him for my feelings. "You're insufferable."

"Hm," Wren hummed.

The fact that he had no words for that made me slightly guilty that I was placing blame on him that he didn't deserve. It was my own mind and demons that made me feel the way I did. But I couldn't admit that to him, I couldn't let him have something else over me.

"It's you who can't stay away from me," I said with a glare.

"Hm," Wren hummed again. "I suppose you're right about that. At least I don't try to hide it."

I didn't have anything to say to that.

We stayed silent for a while after that. Wren pulled off the highway and stopped at a drive through, ordering two orders of fries and two waters. He placed the waters in the cupholders then handed the bag of fries off to me before driving away.