Ice Cold

39

Landon Reilly

I didn't even get to play in the game against Harvard on Sunday afternoon. That was probably for the better. There was no way I'd have been able to focus on the ice, not with how much Wren was occupying my mind. The thought of him heartbroken and lonely hurt more than I cared to admit. And the fact that I caused it made me feel even worse.

I was the first one on the bus that would take us back to campus, not even bothering to wait for Rojas, but he was sure to find me as soon as he stepped on. Cooper was stuck up at the front of the bus with Coach, still in trouble from what had happened yesterday.

Rojas sat down beside me like I expect him to.

"You left the locker room pretty fast yesterday," he said. "You wanna tell me what the hell is going on with you and Cooper?"

No, I didn't want to tell him that at all. I wanted to forget it even happened and to forget Cooper even existed. I didn't need Rojas in my business about it either. There was nothing to be done about it other than move on.

"I heard from some of the guys that he's been saying that you kissed him? But I don't think that's true. It seems like it was the other way around," Rojas continued when I didn't answer.

"It doesn't matter," I muttered. Nothing mattered to me less at that moment. What mattered was that this fucking bus got moving so I could get back to Providence and back to Wren.

"It does though," Rojas replied. "I wish you'd have told me that he was messing with you."

"I don't need you trying to protect me." I was trying not to snap at him. He was the leader of the team, and he felt the need to make sure everything was good with the team. I knew what that felt like even if I epically failed at it.

"Don't think of it as protection," he said. "It's more like I got your back. I have everyone's backs. I don't want anyone on the team to be messed with or targeted."

Rojas was like what a captain should be; always looking out for everyone, making himself available to everyone if they needed him. It was what I should have been when I was captain of my own team in high school. But instead of doing that, I targeted Elijah because of my own deeply fucked up problems and made everyone on the team fear me instead of look up to me. It was something I would never be able to change, never be able to take back. And it was something I had to continue to learn to live with and make amends for.

"Cooper is a deeply insecure person," I muttered, looking out the window as the bus started to move. "As long as he stays away from me and stops talking about me then I'm good."

Rojas didn't say anything after that, and I was glad he wasn't going to make me spend the whole ride back to Providence talking. I put my earbuds in and turned my music up, willing the time to move faster.

The drive back to Providence was almost two hours and I felt every second of it. I could usually drift away on a long bus ride, but now that I was aching to get back it felt like eternity.

It was nearing eight o'clock in the evening by the time the bus finally pulled onto campus. I was up and out of my seat, practically mowing over Rojas in the process to get off this fucking bus. As I stood outside and waited for the compartment holding our things to be opened, Coach approached me.

"Reilly, I want to talk to you," he said, lowly enough so that only I would hear.

I mentally cursed at him, because of course he wanted to talk to me when all I wanted was to get the hell out of there.

"Sure, Coach," I mumbled, moving to grab my bag as soon as the bottom of the bus was opened. "What about?"

He shot me a knowing look because it was quite obvious what it was going to be about. I stood with Coach while he waited for everyone to grab their things and be on their way. Once everyone was leaving, he led me over to his car.