Ice Cold

Epilogue

Landon Reilly

I was light as air skating through the rink at the end of hockey practice, picking up the loose pucks and cones that were left behind. I always loved skating, even if I didn't always love the game. I loved gliding over the ice, feeling a rush of freedom.

My second season of hockey at Providence College was better than the last. I was one of the alternate captains, a last wish from Rojas to the coaches before he graduated and left the team to pursue graduate school. We started the season winning more games than we had the last, so morale was up with the guys. It actually felt like a team this year instead of a group of cliques being forced to work together.

That, of course, was in part because of Shea, our new captain now that Rojas had left, and because Cooper had transferred out of Providence College before the start of the year. Cooper's clique had dissolved, and Shea wasn't one to let any petty bullshit slide. Now we were close to the end of the season with a potential to go to the Frozen Four.

Shea skated up behind me, holding out a bucket for me to drop the pucks in.

"Hey," he greeted. "You still having that thing tonight?"

I nodded. "Yeah, we are. You and Tara are coming?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Shea said with a smile.

Tara was Shea's girlfriend who had befriended Wren early on in the season. The two of them had bonded over their mutual hatred for hockey and love for reading. I hadn't realized how close the two had gotten until one day about a month into the season I texted Wren to ask what he was doing and his response was "Book club with Tara." Now the two hung out all the time and sat together at every home game along with a couple other girlfriends of the players.

With Shea mentioning it, I realized I had to hurry up and get back to Wren's apartment before everyone else got there.

For their junior year, Wren, Stella, James, and Anthony rented an apartment together close to campus. I was a little skeptical of the arrangement at first, but it seemed to be working out. Anthony begrudgingly got along with Wren now that he was living with him. Also, because he sort of had to considering he was my friend and James's boyfriend so there would be no avoiding Wren even if he wasn't living at the same apartment.

It was crazy how much could go on in a year.

I spent much of the summer contemplating whether I wanted to continue playing hockey, and of course, my know it all boyfriend gave me advice that actually ended up working even though I was hesitant at first. Wren wanted me to figure out whether or not I played hockey because I loved it or because I thought I did, so he suggested I make a list of pros and cons: what I love about hockey and what I hate about it.

I loved the feeling of skating, I loved being good at something and having something to be proud of. I loved the competition and being on a team when it wasn't toxic. I hated the way my father wanted me to play and I hated that he tainted everything in my life. So the decision became clear after that. What I loved about hockey outweighed what I didn't. And for the first time in my life, I could play hockey for myself and not for my father. I didn't want it to be another thing that my father had taken from me.

Wren had also showed me a job posting to work at a youth hockey camp over the summer. And when I got the job there, my heart swelled with love for the game I didn't even realize I had. With the money from that, I was finally able to buy my own car so I didn't have to rely on Wren for rides anymore. It was a cheap old thing, but it was mine so I didn't care.

Once I was showered and changed, I went out to my car and threw my bag in the backseat before heading back to my dorm room to quickly change into something a little nicer and pick up Jess.